Being Brave

Creativity often calls for us to be brave - at least creativity that is prompting us to greater heights. It's easy to do the same old, same old and do it well only it can get boring, at least if you're like me. When we want to grow and evolve, it takes a deep breath and a willingness to just go for it, try it, and see.




After I'd layered the larger piece, I stitched the continuous lines across the sections and then drew a chalk line where the piece would be divided and cut it apart. This morning, I have two 36 x 24" sections. Once the circles are in place, I'll cut one of these in half resulting in the three pieces for the series. Working with the smaller sections will be a whole lot easier especially for the satin stitch around each shape. There's minimal bulk to stuff under the machine opening.

My goal was to be finished these three pieces by tonight, the end of the month. Even though I've been working steady this week, I dawdled around the last few, and it's not going to happen. A real strong push and it might but... we're going out for breakfast today and then Barb is leaving, I'm rotating the sheets and Bob & Ruth are coming tonight, and in-between I'm getting Kyle ready to go to camp tomorrow. It's a busy two days. I'll be lucky if I get any stitching done. AND... the next step is to paint the inside of the circles. That's tedious and requires drying time even if it'll look amazing. I'll let you know how it goes.

Have a great weekend - Myrna

Grateful: the decisions have been made on the pieces and all that's left is to finish implementing them

It's All About Choices

For quite a few years, I worked as a Psychoanalytical Assistant. I administered a variety of tests around intelligence, preferred work environment, learning style, and personality type. Our typical client had been injured on the job and was being assessed for re-training. As part of my work, I reviewed the client's file prior to the appointment. What intrigued me most was meeting two clients with a similar - horrendous - case file and vastly different attitudes toward life. One would choose to focus on all that was good and one would choose to focus on all that was not. It was an amazing experience. It taught me that instead of saying "I can't..." a better approach would be to ask "how can I...".

Karen wrote - Now you have really convinced me that a serger is an important tool in the sewing studio. Your suggestion for setting aside a little from each paycheck is excellent...

When I look around my studio, there is so much to chose from. I'm stashed up from here to there and back again. While I'd hate to know what the total value of my stash is, I do know from a previous shopping trip - ten years ago - that one stack in my fabric cabinet is worth $1,500.00 plus inflation. There are 16 stacks in just the two cabinets of batiks and hand dyed fabrics alone. That's a significant amount of money in one small area of the room.

In Canada, quality cotton fabrics average around $20.00 per meter while (glossy, sewing or quilting) books average $40.00. The total cost of my serger was $650.00 which equates to 32.5 meters of fabric or 16.25 books or a combination of the two to say nothing of thread and other supplies. I've learned that when I want to buy product X, it is entirely possible if I'm willing to do without products Y and Z until the funds are in place or to put a little aside each paycheque as you're doing Karen. You'll be so thrilled to see that total grow. It's empowering. Way to go. Life is all about choices.

In 2007, I recycled a quilt from my book Strip Quilts in a Hurry into the central design of RM1 shown below. At that time, I was feeling overwhelmingly responsible for the quilts stacked in my linen closet. They were the samples from my books and it seemed I should be preserving them and yet, while I was no longer interested in traditional quilting, I had packed and moved and packed and moved them several times. They took up space while not doing anything. There was no longer any purpose for these pieces. Recycling them opened up a whole new world of creativity that continues to expand for me now. It was a fabulous choice.

In January this year, I started mounting my work on gallery stretched canvasses. Some of the earlier pieces like RM1 needed custom sizes. These are a lot more expensive. Because of the cost, I chose to research standard sizes and work within those guidelines. That choice has led to the outline of the show I'm working on now which I think is my most exciting one to date. I'm really happy about the direction my work has gone in since I realized what canvasses could do for it and chose to work with them even though that choice completely removed me from the familiar world of quilting and placed me in the unfamiliar one of art.

In May, three of my pieces on exhibit at the Ashpa Naira Gallery sold just before the opening reception. The new owner wanted to pick them up the next day so I needed to fill the holes in the exhibit with more pieces including one big one. I quickly mounted RM1 on the canvas as shown above however, I didn't have a lot of experience with painting edging. The black against the white ended up looking rushed and not very professional. I wished that I had chosen to work slower and to take the big piece at a later date.

After the exhibit, when I picked up the remaining pieces, Carolina - the gallery owner - said that there had been a lot of interest in RM1 and that it didn't sell because most people felt the edge looked like a mistake. Her and my photographer both gave me a lot of feedback on how to better present the piece as well as some other suggestions for my work. Feedback is AMAZING to get. I have chosen to listen to feedback, evaluate it against my goals, and use it as much as I am able. Feedback - whether from viewers, buyers, or gallery owners - can only help me to improve my work. I wasn't always that open to other's opinions.

Yesterday, Francine gave me a lesson in how to tape off and paint a clean edge on the top of the canvas. We added a 1" black edge all the way around as you can see in the detail above and full shot below.

Compare this image with the one earlier and WHAT A DIFFERENCE! Before, it looked like the canvas was too big for the piece. Now, it sits squarely within the canvas, anchored in place by the border details, while still floating on the speckled background. Much better. I'm glad I listened to feedback and I'm glad I asked Francine to help me. As a result, I'm that much more knowledgeable and professional in my approach than I was just a short while ago.

Listening to our intuition (or not) is a choice we make every time we create. When I saw the purple with lime burst fabric at the store that I used for the inner outline above, I thought it would be just perfect. Earlier in my creative life, I'd have been so sure of myself that I would have traced and cut out all the pieces and, if at that time my intuition suggested that perhaps this choice was not the right one, I would have ignored it and most likely have regretted it later.

Now, I've chosen to listen more carefully to my intuition and, because of that choice, my inner artist speaks more often and much louder. When I pinned the fabric above in place on the design wall, she sent a little niggling that perhaps it was a bit too bright and too busy to work the way I wanted it to. I listened and tried the fabric below. It was a good choice. It added luminosity.




After I'd pinned all of the inner outlines in place, the piece glowed like glass. This fabric enhanced the piece and didn't overpower the fuchsia focal points as the busier fabric would have done. By listening and making choices, I was able to maintain my vision for the piece. Choice leads us to all kinds of interesting places.

The top of the lines & shapes piece is at the layering stage. I'll do that this morning and then stitch some lines through the common blue sections. Once those are in place, I can determine which fabric the bubble shapes will be made with - cut, paint, and place them - cut the three sections apart - and finish the stitching. That sounds so quick. It'll take days even though it'll be much easier to work with the piece when there are smaller sections. It looks FABULOUS. I'm so excited about each group of pieces and the entire exhibit.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - significant progress on these pieces with the end in sight

Personal Pinner

When Barb comes to visit, I always make tremendous progress in the studio. That awareness has been - reassuringly - sitting in the back of my mind for the last few weeks as I've meandered through the days doing what seems like nothing. Definitely, it was nothing at all on the lines & shapes pieces. They were packed into a box and set aside. Now, I'm back to work.

When I quit, the piece was in the "octopus" stage with all sorts of long extending and un-stitched together sections. Yesterday, I conquered them and this morning, there is only one big piece up on the design wall. YES YES! It's a step-by-step process of pinning and stitching together each line in the cartoon. I really could have used a personal pinner (like a page turner) to remove the pins as I stitched and perhaps a threader. It seemed I was changing back and forth from black to white to black thread all day. Today, I'll be working in another color - most of the day - as I...

... add the inner outline. You can see the dark line on the white in this image below. The white will be covered to that point. Each shape has white around and each piece of white has an outer and an inner outline. The outer outline is out of my all time favourite, Hoffman, dotted lime green on black, batik. I'm deciding on the inner one. I want them to bring in but not overpower the focal point which is fuchsia. Last night, I flipped through a bunch of purples and decided they wouldn't work. Today, I'll figure something out.




On Monday, my friend Caroline, her husband, and her grandson were over for the day. Caroline and I have known each other since we were sixteen. We've grown up and gone through many stages together. At one time, we were the Moms not the Grandmas. How very strange. She's really truly a grandmother and...

... I'm just practicing holding the baby and then giving him back. He's a sweetie. He nicely slept through lunch and went back and forth between the Howard and Ron and Caroline and I as we visited. Caroline and I spent a lot of time in the studio talking about patterns. I had a Vogue jacket pattern that she loved AND that I'd bought for her when they were on sale AND that she didn't already own so, she got to take that home. We discovered a few in common so we may have a "contest" in the fall. Unfortunately we both collect more than we sew but that is changing.

Barb arrived just before Caroline left which was perfect. They have both heard about each other and finally got to meet. Barb is here for the week. She's barely sixty and has never had her ears pierced so this morning we're going for a late breakfast and then to get that done. I'll be there for support.

This afternoon, Francine is coming over to help me paint a straight line on the top of one of my canvasses. Something new for me so I'm getting some expert help with the process. Other than that, it'll be stitching the rest of the day and fresh, Pacific salmon for dinner. Barb's husband caught it on their holiday earlier this summer only he doesn't like fish. Works for me.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: friendship

Tips & Tools

Even with the Bendable Bright light and reading glasses on, black on black has become way too hard to see. I must be getting old - LOL. I used a dark grey thread to stitch the collar so I could see the stitching lines and trim close to but not through them - a good idea. This is how I stitch a collar. I run the lines of stitching right off the edges and then I go back and sew an additional line to reinforce the corners. Works like wonderful.




There are some great sewing books on the market. I haven't explored too many recent publications however, I would recommend Fit for Real People and Pants for Real People for basic sewing and, if you like to wear jackets, Jackets for Real People. If you can still find a copy, Looking Good is fabulous for the styles and lines that suit your body type. These are all from Palmer/Pletsch - a great company. They produce EXCELLENT reference materials that are full of tips for sewing a high quality garment (workshops too).




I'm not sure where I learned this tip - to sew the collar stand from the inside. I've been doing it for so long that I've forgotten. This way, when your shirt collar folds back, the seam is neat and clean where the wrong side of the button placket and shirt front are revealed. The hand stitching ends up under the collar. Just be careful when you join the collar that the interfaced portion ends up on top. It takes a bit of getting used to to figure out which way to attach it. I put them in position and then fold them right sides together so I get it right.

Along with tips, you need quality tools. This is a point press. It lets you get right into the corner on collars and other tight spots so you can press firmly and cleanly. What I learned in fashion sewing is what prompted me to write Press for Success for the quilting market. Pressing is VERY important no matter what kind of product you're creating. It can make the difference between a home grown and professionally sewn look.




Along with a diagonal stitch at the corner, a point turner helps you to push out the corners gently without poking through. It's much better than a pencil.




Clover makes FABULOUS tools both for sewing and knitting. They produce the best seam ripper I've ever used and this chalk wheel makes marking lines really easy. See how I can get the collar in exactly the right place and then I can brush off the marks and they're gone. YES YES!

As you can see, the collar stand and the collar were both 5/8" too long. That's because I was using the pattern from a different design. Shortening the stand was easy. I had to make a second collar. Here's a tip I developed on my own.




Interfacing shrinks when you press it so they (the great illusive know it all they) say that it should be pre-shrink, even fusibles. That's fussy to do and not so easy when you can't just plop it in a hot washer and dryer so I don't bother. Instead, I cut a piece of interfacing bigger than the pattern, fuse it to the wrong side of the fabric shrinking it as I press it in place and then I place the interfaced and another piece of the fabric right sides together matching grain lines, and cut out my two pieces. This works for cuffs, collars, facings and other areas like these.




I use these pressing tools all the time - a dressmaker's ham, a seam roll, and a sleeve press. All excellent. I'm not one for a lot of gidgets and gadgets. I like tools that work. The ones that I've mentioned today do. They're worth investing in - along with a good iron - and a serger.

I was surprised by the number of comments yesterday regarding not owning a serger. To me, it's as important to sewing fashions as free motion is to quilting. Serging makes a world of difference to the quality, appearance, and professionalism of a sewn garment. HUGE.

Sergers are expensive but not nearly as expensive as a sewing machine. I looked around my studio at how much fabric I have and the number of books and notions and did a rough calculation of what I would have to go without for how long to afford a serger. I'd do it. It's that wonderful. Of course that's easy to say when I've already owned a serger for longer than I've had children and have a stashed up studio BUT... it's such an amazing tool that I'd find a way to make it work. A little bit per paycheque would be worth it - LOL - if I had a paycheque that is. One day soon I hope.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: friends - having fun with Barb in the studio

A Certain Ineptitude

Saturday was a crashing flashing night. The storm started around nine in the evening and lasted until after three in the morning. When the lights had flickered earlier, I'd stopped sewing to find the candles and a lighter and to figure out how to use it. You have to unlock it, flick the gas button forward, and pull back on the trigger at the same time. Terribly coordinated. I figured it out and then I practiced just in case I had to do this completely in the dark.

I have a certain ineptitude with "technology" that has my family shaking their heads at me. For example, I know all I need to know about driving a car if when I turn the key, it starts. I feel the same way about the computer. If when I turn it on it works, this is good. I've learned some other basics (about cars and computers) but I'm not a whiz by any means.

Before the guys left last week, I asked Aryck to rent me a movie. That alone had them darn near panicking as I only watch a movie perhaps two or three times a year, usually with them. Then, he had to teach me how to turn on the TV and run the DVD player. According to him, you just push the big button in the middle of the controller and wait. Which controller? We have five. Oh, the one for the X-Box. Okay, which one is that? The white one. But... the big button is at the top not in the middle. You can see how these lessons went. It was a quick "any idiot could do this" lesson, given at the speed of sound, and then - apparently - I had learned all that I needed to know because after all "it's very easy". Yes, well....

On Wednesday, I wanted to watch the movie while eating lunch. I pointed the white controller at the TV and pushed the button and waited... and waited... and waited... and nothing happened. Then, I remembered that he'd said if I put the movie in the tray, it would automatically start so I pushed the button to open the tray, put in the movie, closed the tray, and waited... and waited... and waited... and nothing happened. I assumed some key step has been missed, perhaps the TV needed to be on a certain station. This is typically the French station so I tried that and - once again - nothing happened. SO...

... I went into my studio, pushed my computer monitor forward to the edge of the counter, tipped it downward, edged my curl up chair as close as possible, placed a cold drink on the sewing station to my left, grabbed a cuddly blanket, curled into the corner, and watched the movie (He's Just Not That Into You) in my studio. I'm technologically inept but not completely helpless.

For all that I want to sew clothes, not a lot is happening any too quick. I wanted to make a blouse and a skirt this week, and the blouse is almost finished. It's a four hour blouse max so as you can see, this is not for lack of time. This lack of sewing is partly because I'm winding down from THE BIG DECISION, and partly because of my serger. After many years of faithful service, the timing wouldn't stay set for more than a few minutes especially if I wanted to stitch beyond turtle pace. Then it pings and gathers and generally looks horrible as opposed to clean and neat and professional. The serger is a White 534 and quite old. I bought it when sergers were brand new to the home sewing market, I think over twenty years ago. It was a solid but not a top of the line serger.

Friday, I talked to Charlene at Anderson's Sewing Center and she gave me some suggestions. I re-set the timing, sewed for about ten minutes, it went ping (again) and I thought, that's it. I cannot sew without a serger and I especially cannot sew without a serger that works. Saturday morning, I went out for breakfast, dropped some bags off at the thrift store, and bought a new serger. It's a Janome 1100DX. Again, not the top of the line but what I could afford right now. Charlene offers a trade up option. I have a year to decide if I want to return this one for what I paid for it and upgrade to a more expensive model. I'll do some research and see.




Hopefully, I get a job soon because I paid for the serger with the money I'd set aside for photography. I want to replace those funds by the time the nine pieces are finished as I really want them photographed. Speaking of the nine pieces - skirts and tops will be pushed aside for the rest of the week. My friend Barb is arriving today and we'll be spending a lot of time in the studio. She says she's finishing things. Me too - the lines & shapes pieces. YES YES!

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: the gallery in Vernon where my work is exhibited was threatened by the Terrace Mountain fire. Carolina and her family (and all the art) were evacuated last week. So far, her home and gallery are safe and I heard on the news that things are improving. Hopefully, this new storm hasn't caused too many more issues.

Just Like Betty

It was January of my last year of high school when I met Howard. I was seventeen. In March of that same year, I moved out on my own and - technically - I lived alone for the year and half before we got married. Except, it's not really living alone when you have a boyfriend. Even though we didn't live together, we were always together and then we got married and we're still "always" together.

This week, I've been living alone but not really. I'm not responsible for earning an income or paying the bills. Instead, I've been living in irresponsible luxury while Howard and the boys are gone. They have been going on this trip together for the past seven years. It's the same week in July every year and usually I invite a friend to come work in the studio with me like I did two years ago or I take a workshop like the one last year in Portland on pant fitting. I make sure that I have my own holiday. This year, I decided to holiday at home and enjoy being in the house free of responsibility, doing whatever I wanted.

As he always does when he's leaving, Howard made sure the car was in good working order and the underground sprinklers were scheduled, that I knew which day was garbage day, and did whatever else needed to be done. He makes life easy for me. On Sunday, he even wanted to go grocery shopping because he and the boys had eaten all the eggs that morning and, with my developing allergies, he knows that eggs have become a staple for me. At the store, he carried "my" basket as I dropped in beets and asparagus and red onions and turnips and all sorts of other things that only I love. He said, it's not hard to tell you're home alone this week. Too funny - and yet...

... there is a certain wonderfulness about living alone and doing exactly what you please. I've been getting up when I want, going to bed when I want, eating what I want, and doing what I want all day with no thoughts to anyone else. I went on a road trip Tuesday, had coffee with two different friends on Wednesday, shopped and read yesterday, and I plan to sew this morning, have coffee with a friend this afternoon, and go knitting tonight. I've cleaned closets and cupboard and fridges in-between and tomorrow I'll clean house but basically I've been bopping through the week playing at whatever takes my fancy. I'm having fun and yet on a certain level I've been aware that life would be radically different if I was truly alone.

I thought a lot about living alone the other day while sitting on the porch, sipping iced coffee, and writing in my journal. Eventually, there will be two of us. Jessica has already moved out. Aryck is close to finishing his university courses. Kyle is getting older by the minute. He'll graduate in two years and move on to university after that. Then - at some point - there will only be one of us. If I was left alone, I would miss Howard dreadfully. We have a lot of fun together. But, I wouldn't want that to be the end of living life fully. I know that reality is different than theory however, as I think about, I vow to keep learning and growing and exploring and being fully who I am and to do that, I need to be learning and growing and exploring and being fully who I am NOW.

A blog I've started reading is Karen - Of A Certain Age. Yesterday she posted about Betty, a woman who at 86 looks better in her jeans than many woman in their thirties. Betty is obviously a free spirit. Karen wanted to grow up just like Betty. Me too! Without any details of her life, the photos alone inspired me to be independent, individual, unique, and me now and all through my life. As I try to figure out what's next, that's the message I'm getting over and over lately.

Yesterday's The Painter's Keys was about running out of time. In it, Robert talked about Randy Pausch, a professor of computer science who died at age 47 from pancreatic cancer. When Randy retired from the university where he taught to spend his remaining time with his family, he gave The Last Lecture. If you haven't watched this YouTube video or read the book - do it. It'll make you think.

In particular, I've thought about what is - and what isn't - a waste of time. I pray and I get answers but I'm not always clear what they are. Often, I wish God would speak louder into the mike. And yet - I think - He must be having quite the laugh looking down on me thinking that silly girl. Here, let me tell her again. For the last few weeks, I've been getting these "get to it now" messages over and over and I am starting to get it - slowly. The waste of time is thinking about whether the thing you want to do is a waste of time while sitting on your butt doing nothing. JUST GO DO IT!

Women in particular find it difficult to do the thing that they want to do for themselves. It's not selfish. It's self care. Each day since closing the business, I've been relaxing more and more. On a certain level, it feels like I've been wasting time, doing nothing, meandering through the day and yet, coming down from all that stress has been so positive. I was so stressed, for so long, that it had become so normal that I didn't even know that's how stressed I was.

As I relax, the thing that impacts me in particular is the thought that sewing up my stash, making too many clothes for my lifestyle, in fabrics and fashions that may or may not suit me, is NOT a waste of time. Sitting on my couch thinking about whether or not I should sew up the fabric in my stash while it sits there bought and unused is the complete and utter waste. What are you wasting that you'd love to get to now? Will you?

Have a great weekend - Myrna

Grateful: repeat messages

House For Sale

There is a gorgeous view of the valley from the upper deck off our dining room and the lower one off my studio. Each morning, I wander to the window, coffee cup in hand, to admire the valley and bask in the sun. You can imagine my shock when this huge sign glared back at me from the back fence of the neighbour across the way. HOUSE FOR SALE!



We live on a hill. They live on the hill. There's a road passing between us but it's quite a bit down there. About the only person on the same level as this sign, is me. At one time, I might have been tempted. It's a nice house. Now, I'm through that restless stage of bigger, better, more. I realize there will never be a perfect house. Instead, there is the ability to make a home and perfect that feeling of comfort and warmth and welcome within the walls that I am so grateful to have. I am content. No moving for me. I took my coffee cup to the front porch, pulled out my journal, and spent some time writing.

The blur in the picture is a combination of sun and smoke. I live in the interior of British Columbia. It's a hot, dry climate. We've had less than normal rainfall this year and the forests are like dry tinder due to the pine beetle kill over the past few years. Already, there are 1,100 fires in the province including the huge ones near Kelowna that you may have seen on the news. It's an eerie, anxious feeling to be living in smoke and always on alert. Fires break out quickly.

Temperatures today are expected to reach the upper 30's Celsius (near 100 Fahrenheit) and the weather woman is predicting winds, thunderstorms, and lightening. There will be more fires. There is only the house above and one across from it between me and a gully with a forested hill on the other side. Two years ago, the hill was on fire. We stood on the porch and watched the fire fighters put it out. They did an amazing job but so real a threat makes you focus on what is truly important and it's not stuff. Even as I am grateful for what I have, I keep in mind that it is only things and there will always be more things to acquire. Relationships are what is truly important.




How many clothes do you own? How many do you wear? Yesterday morning, when I went to fold my laundry, it occurred to me that the clothes I wear were in the laundry basket and the ones I sometimes wear - or not at all - were still in the closet. I wondered what I didn't wear so I cleaned out my closet and then the dresser drawers and found some more items to give away. Not too many as I don't have a lot of clothing and I've been getting better at knowing what I'll wear over the years but still, there were a few things.

Interestingly, it was the same as with the fashion fabric. The clothing that I passed along were items that were just a little too fancy for my lifestyle or in stiffer, firmer fabrics that I'm not drawn too. The ones I kept were flattering and comfortable and completely me. I am reminded to live MY life, to be who I am, and not try to fit into some other box that was never intended for me. Sometimes that means moving boxes - emotionally, not literally. So perhaps, I am moving after all - LOL .

A shower, breakfast, and then I'm going to work on my (sewing it ever so slowly) blouse. Have a great day - Myrna

Grateful: a wonderful home

Culling? Not!

Yesterday, I had breakfast with Howard, brunch with Kyle, and lunch with Aryck getting in some one-to-one time with all my boys. They're leaving this morning and will be back in a week. I'll miss them even as I enjoy the time to be irresponsible - in a good way - focused on what I'd like to do, eat, read, watch, sew, or knit and the people that I'd like to go for coffee, lunch, or dinner with. Some major alone time, which might sound funny since I'm alone frequently - but not completely. It's the break from responsibility and diabetes I look forward to. The only time I really relax is when Kyle is with Howard. I know that it'll be a wonderful week without them and equally fabulous when they're back home again.

With the guys packing to go, the house was in chaos already so I dove into the fabric closet and did some major sorting - Culling? - NOT! It seems, I've done that already and almost everything in the closet was keep-able for one reason or another. There were a few pieces too fancy for life as I know it however, they'll be good for muslins. There's no point buying fabric to make muslins with while "throwing" this stuff out. They weren't fancy fancy - just too much for at home or for today's office or church wear, which is - sadly - way less dressed than what I'm used to or would prefer.

After all the sorting and sifting, my favourite fabric was the black shot with pink, denim-like piece below. The section on the left is the front side and the one on the right is the back. It's meant to be reversible only I don't really think the two sides look good together. Isn't that strange? LOVE the darker side.




The fabric will be perfect for this Vogue 8561 skirt by Marcy Tilton. To see the lines better, you can click here for the Vogue page OR here to see the skirt on Rusty Bobbin's Blog. Beth is an AMAZING seamstress. I really enjoy her blog.




The skirt on the right is made with a striped fabric like mine. The style lines and stripes lower the "frump factor" as my friend Caroline and I were talking about on Sunday. We've both been studying fashion and sewing clothing since our early teens (think YEARS and YEARS) and we're very familiar with the styles and lines that look good on us. Because of that, it's easy to get complacent and bored. A long pencil skirt looks fabulous on me, so good that my husband commented on the one I wore Sunday - LOVE THAT GUY - but that doesn't mean I can't do a straight skirt slightly different like this pattern of Marcy's.




The blouse pattern I'm (slowly) working on is Vogue 7903 by Sandra Betzina. It's altered and ready to cut out once I decide on the fabric, which it only makes sense to co-ordinate with the skirt. Unfortunately, there are more bottom weight than blouse weight fabrics in my stash. Next time I'm shopping, I'll keep that in mind. For now, a safe bet would be black. I have LOTS of that. Otherwise, it'd have to be pink and there isn't a piece the right shade and, even if there was, it's too dusty to wear near my face. Black it'll be. This embroidered cotton should work well.




Even though I'd hoped for more, two boxes of fashions fabrics (plus other things) are on their way to the second hand store. That's good. Somehow - don't ask me how - I have five more boxes of fashion fabric than I had the last time I went through the closet, which wasn't all that long ago. It's most likely because I moved the ones in the guest room back to the studio. No matter the reason, there's a lot of fabric and it needs to dwindle away.

All wasn't hopeless though. I did get rid of some "potential". There were a lot of scrap fabrics, old quilts, and second hand clothing that could have been recycled into something new and exciting only, it wasn't happening. I've been shuffling them around the last few times I've cleaned the studio so this time, some went to the garbage and some to the second hand store.

AND - a bonus - in the boxes of second hand clothing, I found a pair of jeans, a skirt, and a pair of fully lined, linen Capri pants that I have now shrunk back into. They're back in my closet again. YES YES.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: a week to sew and spend times with friends while being "irresponsible".

Souvenirs

Yesterday afternoon, I spent with my friend Caroline. We were supposed to spend today together and things changed and that was just fine. I picked her up after church and we drove to the Fabricland in Vernon about 1 1/2 hours away.

We have a Fabricland in Kamloops however, it's operated by head office whereas the one in Vernon is a franchise. Some of the stock is similar but overall the store is cleaner, brighter, friendlier, and has a higher quality of fabric. I really enjoy visiting there AND... our timing was perfect. Everything was between 50-70% off. Even for me - who already has 300 yards of fabric - that's simply irresistible. For Caroline... well, there are no fabric stores where she lives so our yearly foray is her major stashing event. She did exceedingly well.

After a quick walk around the store, we looked through the pattern catalogues choosing new patterns and checking yardage on the ones that we already had. It was amazing how many patterns we have in common. It's so wonderful to have a friend who shares your interest. We were there three hours and neither of us was tapping our toes wanting to leave, our eyes stayed rolled forward in our heads, and we were surprised where the time had gone.

Equally wonderful is a friend who knows your likes and dislikes and what suits your lifestyle and body type. Caroline kept pointing out patterns she thought I might like and mostly I had them all. Likewise, she mostly had the patterns I thought that she'd enjoy. Unfortunately, we hadn't sewn many of them even though we each have a lot. We decided that we're collectors - LOL.

I bought four pieces of fabric. The one bottom left is a dark navy, polyester rayon blend with a spaced stripe suitable for a jacket or pencil skirt. I bought enough for both. Beside it is a 100% cotton, lightweight shirting in white with a dark grey stripe. GORGEOUS.




The fabric bottom left in this image is a black, stable knit. Last week, I tried on some lounge pants that were made out of knit. They were wonderful except that one size was too small and the other too big so I couldn't buy them. Now, I can make my own. Beside that is a dark grey linen blend. The opposite side is a light grey. I could make a co-ordinated outfit using both sides. YES YES!




Why buy fabric when you already have 300 yards you might ask? Well... two reasons. One is that day trips like this are my holiday during the summer and therefore these pieces of fabric are my souvenirs. I'd much rather have fabric than anything else. Howard and the boys are away this week and I'll sew.

The other reason is less wonderful. I've been stashing fabrics for almost thirty years but I have done almost no fashion sewing in the past twenty so many of the fashion fabrics in my stash I either no longer like or are not practical for my lifestyle. Quite a few are too fancy. I've thought a lot about that (sad fact) this last week as I've been slowly cruising back into sewing. I asked myself what works for the woman I am right now, with the lifestyle I live in this moment? I want to sew for the present.

Later this week, I will give my fashion fabric a major culling. If a piece can't be used, can't be evolved (dyed, stamped, surface design, ripped, etc), is no longer loved, doesn't suit me at all, or for any other reason doesn't work, it'll be leaving the studio. Yes - I know that's a waste of money but the greater waste is keeping it. By giving it away, someone else can use it. My goal is to get the point where I have a small stash - say two boxes - for late night sewing and impromptu projects and am mostly buying and sewing in the moment. I think there will be more pleasure (and a lot less guilt and regrets) in that approach.

At dinner, I asked Caroline which of the fabrics that she bought was her favourite. We talked about that for a bit and then she asked why? I said that I planned to sew my favourite first and not save it for later when it might be outdated, inappropriate, or no longer a favourite. There are some things that don't need to wait and sewing our favourite fabric is one of them.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: a wonderful day with my friend. I have missed her so much since she moved away from Kamloops 22 years ago. I really value the time we have together.

Progress! YES YES

Yesterday, the garage door was installed in Howard's workshop. Progress! YES YES - When the city insisted on changes to our permit, one of the bonuses was a deep enough workshop to have a garage door. This makes for easy access AND was way less expensive than the customized doors we would have had to buy AND Howard gets just under 300 square feet to "play" in instead of about 40. All good... even if it's taken forever and is costing ten times as much - LOL.




Unfortunately, the installer left without putting in the wireless touch pad on the outside that was part of our quote so he'll be coming back. Imagine having to find the garage door opener every time we want a hammer or something from the workshop. It won't be in the car because the workshop is wider than it is deep and doesn't fit a car. The door is purely for convenience.

As you can see, the workshop is tucked at the back of our carport. That door to the right is the "garbage" closet. Our regular and recycling cans as well as our BBQ and some gardening supplies will fit in there - nice and neat - out of sight. I am REALLY looking forward to having a neat presentation to our home again. It feels like forever getting to this stage. We're not the type to have "stuff" lying around but we have for the past five years. The neighbours don't know the "real" us.

Those boxes in the carport are for the guy's holiday next week. Howard, the boys, and four other guys are heading down to the US for a four day, Christian rock concert. They've been going for seven or eight years now. They camp. The boxes are a big tarp - like the kind you put over a car or boat - and provides shade from the sun. The event is held at The Gorge, which is a natural amphitheater in the desert.




Part of our better presentation is getting rid of this open ceiling and all that brown. When Hilda sides the workshop, she'll also put white - can't remember the word but it's metal sheeting with dots on it that goes under the eaves - under the carport roof and wrap the posts in metal. When we bought the house, we replaced the cedar siding with vinyl so that we didn't need to re-paint every few years. Once the roof is done - there will be nothing at all left to paint although we do want to paint the two stucco sides the same color as the siding.

Once the siding is finished, we want to do the posts at the front of the carport. I'm really quite hopeful of having that done by fall but - time will tell. I'll post pictures of the posts later when there is something to see. We want them widened significantly and then covered with slate so they look big enough to support this huge roof. Right now they're toothpicks - the size of the post you see at the back of the carport image - holding up a roof twenty feet off the ground. Not!

My first pinkish-orange Lily came out yesterday. Isn't it gorgeous? There are tonnes of blooms so the garden should be bright and full over the next few weeks. These are such gorgeous flowers and look beautiful with the yellow Stella lilies and - of course - they have a wonderfully lime leaf. - Have a great weekend. I'm off to pack lunch and the waterslides.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: progress on the workshop - nearing done

It's Been A Week...

The piece isn't finished yet but it has gone home with Lori Jane so she can see it in her own living room - minus the plastic picnic blanket - and decide if she likes it BEFORE I attach the textile portion. After that, it's pretty hard to do anything different. Her concern is that the texture of the paint is too strong for the softness of the piece.




We added a black edging all around that further toned down the orange and blended the black border of the textile portion with the painted canvass. I think it works quite well. In fact, I love the whole thing but I'm not the one buying it.

The difference between the orange in yesterday's posting and the more muted one in today's is the addition of a thin layer of green. You can see that it was a light coat and almost mint like by looking at the green canvas in the background of the picture below. That's the color I painted over top. It was just enough to do what needed to be done.

Color is a fascinating subject. I love the way it moves and interacts and changes as you add to it. The dark orange is a combination of yellow, then a thin orange that looked like peach, then fuchsia, and then a thin green. Pretty fun isn't it.

Karen W wrote: Everyone has a different opinion. I like the orange canvas the way it is. But then I am not going to be the person who gets to hang it in my home.

That's the main reason why I don't do commission work. A description - say waterfall - brings to mind different visions for the artist and the buyer. The artist's job then becomes to create the buyer's vision even though they can't see it and have never experienced it in the same way. It's surprisingly tricky with color. We all see and feel about color in completely different ways. I did a few commission pieces years ago however my take was that too many opinions make for difficult working conditions. Now that I create with a spontaneous step-by-step process, it's impossible to do commission work. I have no idea what I'm making until I'm done. You also asked:

Have you seen the latest magazines for self home decorating? They are advocating buying stretched canvas and painting it or covering with fabric. A simple way to make a personal statement. Personal? When you use a piece of fabric that someone else designed and just fasten it on you are only saying that you like someone else's idea. VBG

There is a completely different approach to art by the general public versus artists. Not too long ago I was proudly shown some very nicely done cross-stitch pieces. All the pieces were gifts given to the person showing them to me. She did not cross-stitch. As we toured the pieces, she exclaimed about the detail of the border in one and the gradation of color in the other saying it was so artistic. All the pieces were made from patterns so there was - IMHO - no artistry on the part of the stitcher, simply good workmanship. I've been shown similar paintings and stretched fabrics to what that article describes. In each case, the individual is incredibly proud of what they've purchased or created.

I came to realize quite a few years ago that most people have no idea about original art and see art as something that includes a level of difficulty they could not execute and a range of colors they don't understand. Basically, if they couldn't do it themselves, it's art. What is and isn't art has been a contentious question for a long time. There are a lot of questions like that. Perhaps they exist to make life interesting.

It's been a week since I went for a walk and enjoyed not thinking about business anymore. In that time, I haven't developed a new product or a new marketing plan or a new strategy for increasing sales or anything new at all. Each day, I have been feeling increasingly lighter. I've mostly been a lump reading, knitting, and having coffee with friends. The most productive thing I've done is paint the canvasses for Lori Jane. I did alter a pattern for a blouse but have not even picked the fabric yet. This is fine. I'm winding down.

What I have thought a lot about is ideas for pieces. They continue to flow and gently ask to be birthed. In some ways, that is extremely comforting. I am carrying on with the best part of my business - the part that intrigues and nurtures and excites me - and have walked away from what was weighing me down. This is a good space to be in although - LOL - I don't think I will get anything more accomplished next week than last. We'll see what happens.

Tomorrow, I'm off on an adventure with Kyle and some friends - two mothers, two teenagers. We're going to the water slides. Next week, Howard and the boys are away and I'm taking a couple days to go art shopping with a friend. We'll drive down the road and any time we see an artist sign that looks interesting, we'll turn off and explore.

In Canada, along the highways there are blue signs with a big A on them to indicate an artist. Below, there will be a label of some kind - like painter or potter - and an indication of direction and distance. Typically, these are artists working in home studios in rural settings, the ones that you wish you could visit but you're always on the way to somewhere else.

I'll also spend a day next week with my friend Caroline from up north who is visiting with her husband's family. We've been friends for thirty-one years and have so much in common. I know we'll be going fabric and pattern shopping and out for coffee and hopefully a LOT more. I love to look at things with her and talk about the possibilities.

Right now, I'm going to grab another cup of coffee, curl up on the porch, and enjoy the quiet of the morning. Later, I'll take Kyle for a blood test, which he hates and then for breakfast, which he loves. Hopefully Lori Jane has made a decision about the canvasses and I can attach the two pieces, add the hanging wires, and be done. YES YES! Have a great day.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: that I made the right decision about my business and am carrying on with the best part (in a limited capacity) while letting go of the most stressful

Too Orange

Kristin wrote: I love this quilt and the canvas you mounted it on. How did you get the little circles of dots on the canvas - stamps? Or is that a trade secret? The combination of the quilt and canvas are stunning. Great job!

Thanks. The circles were caused by lifting the wet paint with textured paper towel. No secret. I mentioned it in the posting but you must have missed that bit. It's very fun to use different textured items. With this second canvas, I used an open weave dish cloth and got a gridded woven look. You can see it in this detail shot.




You can also see that the color is too orange still. This is three layers, yellow, orange, and fuchsia. I let that dry overnight and now I'll add a layer of thinned green. That should lime up the yellow bits and rust out the orange ones and tone it down more in line with the vase while still maintaining some brightness to the edge. At least that's my theory.

Lori Jane gets to approve the colors before I attach the pieces. She was over yesterday and LOVED the turquoise. She loved the orange too but we both think it's a bit too much. Paint is so easy. If I tone it down too much, I can add it back again. That's a plus compared to fabric although I've learned how to fuse and paint over top of that too.

Cassy wrote: Oh, my gosh! I love the "Liz One" piece. The colors spoke to me and made my heart sing. Thanks for sharing!

You're welcome. I'm glad it was calling you. Liz taught me to work fast using fabric with fusing on the back. It's an interesting way to work. We put Misty Fuse on the back of a selection of fabrics with light to dark values in a color theme and then she gave me a subject and I quickly created a composition. We fine tuned it a bit from there and then fused it all together. I made thirteen small pieces in two days and then spent the week after stitching them with "Myrna" lines. It's a great way to push yourself.

Yesterday was knitting at arts & crafts and knit night. I have finished the back and right front on my cardigan and started on the left front last night. It looks great. I'll finish painting this canvas today and then work on the sweater a bit... unless I'm curled up reading a book. LOVE the lazy days of summer.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: a big selection of paints to play with

Turquoise Canvas

This piece - Liz One - was made a few years ago when I started studying design (in textiles). While looking for a workshop to attend, I discovered it would be less expensive to hire Liz Berg for a private workshop in my studio than to fly to California for a group one, so that's what I did.



Everyone has a color range that they prefer. I'm the most comfortable working in the medium to dark value range. Light and especially predominately light is more of a struggle. Liz One started with the light background. When my friend Lori Jane first saw the piece, she said that she didn't like it and it didn't look like me. She was right.

Up until the thread work , I struggled and then I decided to use lines and shapes that were familiar and see what happened. It worked. So much so that it became her favourite and Lori Jane bought the piece. Later, when she saw my work mounted on canvasses, she asked if I could order one and mount this piece too. I did order the canvas - months ago - but I only got around to painting it yesterday.




The first layer is a light turquoise painted in streaks (above). Next, I added a layer of green lifted off with paper towel patted over the wet paint and then picked up leaving behind a dotted spiral design with the lighter color showing through.




Once that layer was dry, I repeated the motion adding a thin layer of black. The canvas is now similar in color to the blue-green in the design with touches of the lightest value showing through. It's rich looking.

The spirals mimic the circles in the background stitching and are a lot more interesting than a plain canvas. While I was painting it, ideas began flowing for the three texture pieces for the January exhibit - ideas around combining painting and textile techniques. Exciting!




The canvass is 1 and 1/2" deep. Once I attached the piece, it will stand away from the wall and have a lot more presence than it did before. I - LOVE - WORKING - WITH - CANVASSES!




Lori Jane also owns Not Always Greener. I ordered a canvas for it too and today I'll experiment with different colors and see what I can come up with. Originally, we'd thought a light purple but that seems too predictable. Something different would be more interesting. IMHO - the lime of the stem would be fabulous however, I think the orange-ish pink of the vase will be more Lori Jane's thing. She's in an "orange" phase.

Aryck, Kyle, and I made a quick trip to Salmon Arm. We ended up rushing out the door because my relatives were running an hour early. That's okay. They waited for us and when we got there, we had a delightful coffee and lots of hugs.

My cousin and her Dad didn't tell my aunt that it was me they were meeting so I was a complete surprise and the boys a bonus. There are family dynamics that made her think that she wasn't going to get to see me. The boys more than got the message that everyone appreciated them making the effort to come. I really did. I was especially impressed that Aryck took four hours off work to come. I must be getting old because I got all teary eyed thinking of introducing my aunt to my boys and then she got all teary eyed when she saw them.

The boys agreed that my cousin and I looked alike and have many similarities. The differences are fun to explore especially as we've never spent a lot of time together. We both look like our Aunt however, I'm the most like her in body movements and personality. We have the same flippy hands and the same way of talking and we both love color, clothes, jewelry, make-up and "stuff" like that. I said to Aryck, this is the Aunt I'm just like and he said no kidding. Kyle said, she can come to visit but she can't stay too long, I don't need two mothers. What fun.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: that the boys come with me to Salmon Arm

Light Aluminum Ladder

Friday was fabulous. I left around 7:30 in the morning and was back home around 9:00 that night. It was long day but a good one. Beside having coffee - and lunch - and coffee - and dinner - together, my cousin and I went to several high end shops including a few consignment stores. We toured "the details". She even bought a few things.

I had warned her that I'm very good at spending other people's money and by the end of the day, it was true. All the bags in the trunk were hers. Too funny. When I see something I really like (or need or would definitely use) I will buy it but I'm not one for spec shopping. If I knew what kind of clothes I would need for work, I could have bought those. Oh well. That's a good excuse to go back later.

What I love about designer clothing is the little things - the tucks, pleats, buttons, trims, linings and so on. In mass production, these are the first to go but when you're sewing for yourself, they're completely possible. They just take a little longer and make a world of difference and - IMHO - make sewing more challenging and fun. Snoop shopping provides inspiration for my wardrobe and construction clues for easier sewing.




Saturday, I painted Howard's workshop. My friend asked "any color you want?" No. That would have been too easy. Instead, I painted it a color he would like - beige, as in Gentle Cream from Benjamin Moore. If you're a beige lover, it's pretty and certainly would add contrast to darker flooring, furniture, or art work. If I were to consider beige - well I guess I did because I bought it - this would be the one only I don't think it would last too long inside my house - LOL. It's a little too beige and I do so prefer lime.




The workshop has a sloped ceiling that is quite high up on the right against the house. We're going to build a mezzanine for storage only that has to wait until the city has approved the work so far. To get approval, the walls have to be painted. I've decided that I'm either too old or too wise at this age to be standing on top of a light, aluminum - and IMHO - tippy ladder. Howard and Aryck figured it out with a "lean against the wall" kind of ladder and I painted everything else but those upper corners.

This workshop has been an ENDLESS PROJECT. I can't believe we started in March and it will be the end of July before Howard sets up the cabinets, hangs the pegboard, builds the shelves, and actually moves in AND... that could still be before the siding is on around the outside. Hilda (our sider) says she'll fit our job in "soon" which means in-between other bigger ones. Even when the workshop is done, there are still the posts and brick at the front of the house to finish. I'm hoping for fall but I'm not holding my breath.

Maggie wrote - I finally accepted that I need more time to prepare - to figure out what it is I really want to do - to finish external commitments, to be finished with things. I am finding it so easy to let go of things I have had for years & know I will never get to - they have served their purpose and are on their way to other lives.

And so much of the preparation is emotional as opposed to physical. It's good to "be finished" with things and remove that pressure and it's fabulous to think about "what do I really want to do" and give it priority over the shoulds. There will always be a list of shoulds.

One of the ways I look at letting go of things is that I'm setting those supplies free to go to a home where they'll be used and appreciated as opposed to storing them in mine where they are clutter and unwanted. One is negative and stops the creative flow and the other is positive and encourages it.

When I'm debating something highly emotional, I feel so wishy washy as if I'm saying one thing and doing another - and then, when "it" finally clicks, everything feels so much better. I am amazed at how much lighter I have felt this past week. Each day, I'm more excited than the day before about NOT being in business. An invisible weight has lifted off my shoulders that I didn't even realize was there.

At some point down the road, I will not be surprised to hear myself say that I should have done this sooner. And ironically - as often happens - on the weekend I had a request to teach this fall. I turned it down - gladly - no guilt attached - no second thoughts. I know that by completely letting go, there is now room for something new to come into my life. I bet you're feeling the same way Maggie. You also said...

I have a small stack of things I want to cut up - a few months ago I couldn't contemplate hacking up something- but watching you so fearlessly reinvent and un-knit so many times made me realize it can be done and it can be fun! so it is all good.

YES YES - way to go. Send me some pictures. I'd love to see what you're working on. Isn't that complete change in thinking unbelievable. Now it wouldn't occur to me NOT to unravel or chop up or change something that isn't working but even a few years ago, I'd have had heart palpitations. Now, it's VERY VERY fun and it sure does extend the stash in my studio. There are endlessly endless possibilities.

Later this morning, Kyle and I are driving to Salmon Arm to have a last coffee with my aunt, my cousin, and her Dad. Aryck may be able to come along. I hope so. He's going to check with his boss and if he can I'll pick him up before ten and bring him back around two. I would have loved for Howard to come too but he has to work. Very few of my extended family has met my boys and even though Howard and I have been married 28 years, they haven't met him either and he's such a sweetie. I'd love to show them all off. SO...

... I'll drive one and a half hours, have a coffee, get a hug, and we'll be on our way - us back home and them all the way back east. They have a MUCH longer drive but even so, I'll drive about six times longer than we'll have coffee for and that's okay. My love language is quality time and seeing them, even for a little bit, is worth it - LOL - especially to show off my boys.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: lazy days of summer

Deleted & Personal

Karen wrote: You can create a blog that is totally separate from any other than you have ever had. It doesn't have to be anything more than a morning cup of coffee and talking with friends from all over the world. I sense that you love the ability to share what is going on with you and get feedback from all of us who have grown to love and honor you. Sincerely, I hope you will continue to blog and keep us in the loop.

I do love to share Karen. I think that sharing is one of the most amazing things we women can do for each other - support and encourage. Every time I think about not writing the blog, it's that camaradarie that I know I'll miss but, time will tell. It really depends what direction things go in especially with work.

Yesterday, I deleted any earlier postings on the blog that were written while I was "in business" and changed the about information in the sidebar to reflect my new status as a Pro-Am (professional amateur) and the new intent of the blog (to share my personal journey with life and creativity).

If you visit my website, you'll notice that it no longer advertises workshops, products for sale, or prices for pieces and that it links to the galleries where my work is currently represented. If someone wants to purchase a piece, they must do it through the gallery. I think this sufficiently changes the purpose of the blog (and the website) so that I don't have to change the name yet, still, again. I'd rather avoid that.

This morning, I'm on my way to Kelowna to meet my cousin. She's visiting from back east and I'm really looking forward to seeing her. Normally, I'd drive through Vernon but I'm taking a different route this morning because the place where she's staying is on the far side of the city. Going via this route will be two hours instead of three however, it travels over a high road through a less populated area. Not somewhere I'd want to be after dark so I won't come back that way tonight. It works this morning. I get an "extra" hour of sleep.

Yesterday was really slow starting probably - LOL - because I ran out of coffee and had to wait until Costco opened to get a bag of my favourite Starbucks French Roast. Once that was safely in hand (I really need it this morning) I ran a few errands and made the changes on the blog and website. It was almost noon before I started working on anything for me.

Knitting is a great way to transition between tasks. While knitting a few rows, I can think about what's next so that's what I did - knit for a bit and then sewed. The sweater I'm making is GORGEOUS. You can see the fabric in Wednesday's posting. After two years of re-learning knitting and working to improve my quality, this is looking to be the most successful and well-liked project yet. I'm really thrilled with it.

Typically, I give the studio a good cleaning twice a year, in January and July. I have some time in a few weeks when Howard and the boys are away and I've been thinking about how to move the studio around to reflect my new way of being. I want to move the fashion supplies forward and the work and art ones further back and set up a permanent surface for my serger. I may even move the furniture around although I think it's in the best configuration already - VBG - unless I get new furniture. Too fun! Have a great weekend.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: a cousin my age!

Very Sad Knitting

Don't you love synchronicity? I think it's amazing how observations and conversations connect to bring us what we need. While the bottom line of my decision to close the business is that I can't afford to continue, the other deciding factor for me was the question of "for how long will I put off what is possible today for what might happen tomorrow?" I started thinking about this a lot last week.

This week, there has been a discussion on one of the knitting groups that I belong to about living in the moment. It started when a woman brought some very high end knitting into the local yarn shop of one of the members saying, "I knit these and I don't remember how. Can you teach me to knit?" The woman had suffered a brain injury. As often happens when a topic like this comes up, numerous similar stories have been posted.

Another was told about a woman who was extremely intelligent and then she'd had repeat surgeries for a malignant brain tumor and went from speaking seven languages to not remembering how to knit a simple cap for a newborn. With daily assistance, she set a goal to, and knit, a dozen caps re-learning the skills with each one. She died shortly after delivering them to a shelter.

Yesterday, the sun came out and I went for a walk. Walking is a wonderful way to resolve questions and think through ideas. My mind was still in terms of the business, which was unusual and - if I'm completely honest - a relief. Although I loved what I did, right now, I want to be done and to let go of those internal conversations to make room for new ones.

Instead, my mind was hopping with ideas for knitted and sewn garments and for decor items and art for my home. Over the years, so many of these ideas have been put off. It was fabulous to welcome them and to allow that flow in my life again. YES YES!

As I got closer to home, I realized that I wanted to transition the studio from a place of work to a place of personal creativity right now and not wait. After making such a huge decision, it seemed that I should do something to symbolize the change rather than continuing on with the line and shape pieces. I'd be doing the same thing and expecting different results. That never works.

SO... I am taking some "Myrna time". The line and shape pieces are at a stage where they can be put aside, easily returned to, and finished in plenty of time for the exhibit. That's what I've done. I packaged them up and then I pulled out a pattern and some fabric and started sewing myself a blouse. Ta da!




It's been a year this month since my classes at QuiltUniversity.com ended. The abrupt finish was a complete shock. It has taken all of this time - and a roller coaster of emotions - for me to adjust to the new reality. I have incredible empathy for anyone who has found themselves in a similar situation. It's very tough.

At first, I thought I could carry on doing similar things in a new way and then the economy went sideways. At the same time, I realized that there were some things - like traditional quilting - that I no longer wanted to do. It seemed the perfect time for changes so I retired from traditional quilting in March fully intending to continue writing and teaching about art and textile art in particular. And then, even more changes were needed.

THANK YOU so much for sticking with me through this roller coaster of emotions. I have appreciated your support. At times, I have felt like I am falling apart in public, vulnerable and exposed, and constantly changing my mind. This is so unlike me that it created even more stress. It hasn't always been pretty. I hope - pray - have all body parts crossed - that this struggle is now over.

Closing the business means moving in new directions. The difficulty I see is that the new direction includes the same components of the old one (fabric, thread, paint, etc) and so it's a new way of thinking that is required as opposed to new activities. However, from now on, I expect that my creativity will be personal and that my paid work will be away from home and quite different. You never know.

Perhaps I'll return to "for sale" creativity at some point. It's possible although highly unlikely at any time in the near future. As this door closes, I fully expect God to open a new one and I'm excited to see what that opportunity will be and how it will utilize my skills and abilities AND a regular paycheque would be lovely too - LOL!

I appreciate that many of you would like me to continue blogging. I still don't have an answer from the insurance company because my agent is on holidays. From a personal perspective, I don't know if I can continue. It'll be a tug of war because I - LOVE - TO - WRITE. There is a part of me that really wants to continue and a part of me that isn't sure I can and still make the mental shift that is needed. We'll see what happens.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful: knowing that change can be both hard and positive at the same time and that good things await me

The Bottom Line

Edited July 9/09 - I've begun the process of closing my business of twenty years. In order for this blog to evolve to one that is about my personal journey with life and creativity, rather than one that is a marketing tool, I have deleted any "while in business" postings made prior to today's date.

- - - - - - - - - - -

With Arts & Crafts Club and Knit Night both on the same day, I do a lot of knitting on Tuesdays. The bamboo sweater is almost finished. No pictures yet. I'll sew up the side seams and then try it on and decide if the neck band works or not. It didn't come out "like the picture" and I'm not sure I like the way it does look. I may try again.




My new project is the V-Neck Cardigan from Paton's Next Steps series with a few changes. My friend Rosemarie said that's so me, that I'm always doing something just a little bit different with whatever I'm working on. What an interesting observation. That didn't used to be me.

I used to follow all the "rules" for fear of getting "it" wrong and being rejected in some way - of not being liked or wanted - and then I made a decision that truly put me on the outside and found it a fabulous place to be. It's a relief to actually be living my own life rather than the life others think I should live.

Not that I'm a huge RULE BREAKER - as in murder and theft - I'm a minor Rule Breaker - as in living outside the box, adding my own twist, making choices that are not mainstream, and doing things my way. For me, this is a much happier place to be. Life will never be 100% perfect for any of us however, I have found a lot more joy in a life lived from within rather than one lived from other's expectations.

This change in my way of being started small, just a twinkle of the idea of doing something different, and it has spread to many areas of my life. In knitting, the above yarn would be an example. I bought the rayon boucle on the left a few years ago and have knit swatches using different needle sizes. With a size 0, the yarn still looked too lace-like for me and the small needles were uncomfortable to hold and hard to knit with (as in no fun) so I mixed it with the indigo coloured, jean inspired, cotton yarn on the right. That may seem like a no-brainer, but it's not something I would have done "before".




The combination produces this gorgeous fabric. All night, I kept smoothing my hand over the piece enjoying how it's turning out. I've adapted the pattern. My gauge was 18 stitches to 4" and the pattern gauge was 15 stitches to 4" so I'm knitting a size that is 20% bigger to compensate. I'm also making the sweater 2" longer, changing the ribbed band to 5" wide, using three quarter instead of full length sleeves, and smaller buttons. These changes will flatter my body type better and feel more comfortable.

It's hard to explain if you don't understand but at one time, I would have needed to find a pattern for the exact gauge and the exact changes. I would not have been able to wing it on my own nor would I have been okay with the project working out or not working out. If I finished the sweater and it didn't fit or flatter, I'd have been devastated and felt guilty for wasting all that time, money, and energy. Not so anymore. Now, I enjoy the process and the results are a bonus.

This ability developed after my Year of Play in 2004. It was both a great year and a really rough one and massively changed how I approach life. I'm so thrilled I took that time because - in particular - it taught me how to roll with the punches of life much better than I did previously and life is full of punches. I've come to another one.

Since my talk last week with the insurance company and on Sunday with Carolina at the gallery, I've been torn back and forth between going ahead with and not going ahead with my business. After 20 years, it could be true that I am on the verge of achieving a higher level of success but even so, what is that higher level? Without facts, it's pretty hard to make decisions especially financial ones.

In terms of sales of pieces, just this past quarter has been a higher level of success. I've sold three pieces and have interest in two more. However, the sale of three pieces barely covers my expenses for this year and that has become the bottom line. I can no longer afford to continue to do what I do. It's a relief to look at that cold hard fact and allow it to let me make a decision. I spent most of Monday talking to friends and we all came to this same conclusion. It's wonderful to have that support.

It feels like - and it probably sounds like - I've been making this decision over and over, putting it down and then picking it up again. That's most likely true. I've found this past year quite difficult with a tug of war between what I want to do and what I actually can do. This time has to be different because whether it's advertising upcoming classes, writing book drafts, or creating art pieces, adding canvasses, and shipping them to galleries, everything I do is on speculation. The expenses are paid up front with the hope of sales to follow. There is no guarantee of sales and - in many cases - they never materialize. At one time, my teaching covered these expenses. Without teaching, that ability is no longer there, our family can't continue to take the financial risk, and I can't continue to take the emotional one.

Things that are entirely possible to do right now have continuously been put off for the possibility of something else. For example, right now in my studio I have a pattern, fabric, thread, and buttons. I could sew a blouse and I've been wanting to for a long time. Instead, I've been creating pieces to go to galleries where they might sell but most likely will not. I've reached the point where that is no longer acceptable. I'm no longer willing to put my wants and needs off for a possible higher level of success. I intend to create one right here, right now by choosing to quit one thing and start another.

When I talk about quitting, my friends get upset. What they don't realize is that I'm not talking about quitting being creative. That isn't possible. What I'm talking about is quitting being in business. I'll continue to be creative only from a personal perspective - for my body and my home. That's completely different.

It's been a long time since my studio was a personal space as opposed to a working one. I wonder what that will feel like. I'm really excited to find out. At the same time, my hope is that Carolina at the Aspha Naira Gallery will continue to take two or three of my pieces each year. That would "keep my hand in" and give me a place to send the pieces that I just know are going to bubble up and want to be created.

My last business commitment is the exhibit in January. Three pieces are finished, three are nearing completion and there are three left to create. They're turning out really well, which is VERY exciting. It's going to be a fabulous show. Perhaps at some point in the future, things will shift once again and I'll return to art and teaching as a business. There is always that possibility. Just because it's not working right now doesn't mean it might not come around again. On the flip side, I may find a new path that is equally enjoyable and more successful in a combination of ways. We'll see.

Meanwhile, I'm watching for an appropriate part-time job. I won't apply for anything that doesn't work for our family structure but when a position comes up that might work, we'll see if they hire me and if they do, how my working outside the home works for our family. It's been so long since I've worked for someone else that it's a bit of an unknown. There are pros and cons.

What I'm really curious about is comparing the two. Perhaps, I'll get a job and love it so much that I never want to be self employed again and perhaps, I'll get a job and hate it so much that it renews my enthusiasm and energy for developing a business. It'll be interesting to compare.

I'm waiting to hear if the blog is considered a part of my business since that's the perspective from which I've written it. If it is, once my insurance runs out, any issues that might arise will no longer be covered which means other changes. I don't know what those are right now. What I do know...

... is that I'm about to get dressed, drive Kyle to work, run a quick errand, and then spend the entire day home alone working in my studio on the Line & Shape pieces. If the sun comes out, I'll take a break to go for a walk. A friend might drop by for coffee. YES YES - it's going to be a great day.

Take care - Myrna

Grateful: a final decision and growing bubbles of enthusiasm around a change of perspective in my studio and toward creativity, to say nothing of - LOL - a growing wardrobe. FASHIONS - YES YES!!!!!