The Reminder

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

The two quotes above are from Steve Jobs' convocation speech to Stanford graduates in June 2005, a speech that has gotten considerable air time since his death on October 5th. If you read the entire text, you'll discover that Steve led a life with many twists and turns.

I've been thinking a lot about these quotes over the last few days. Since I've never been that rich, I imagine that billions in the bank would make it much easier to look in the mirror and say no, I don't like what I'm doing, it's time for a change but then again, maybe not. Maybe all that responsibility actually makes it more difficult. I don't really know. I just know that money is a huge factor in most people's decisions and has been in mine.

One of the most difficult balancing acts in life is the one between what we need to do to earn a living and what we want to do to earn a living. When we can blend those two, it's pure joy. My most successful career years were when I created, wrote about what I created, taught about what I created AND earned a decent salary. Pure bliss.  I'm there now except for the decent salary.

As I work in my studio each day, using supplies that were bought and paid for months and years ago, I consider that a blessing of a different sort. While this can't last forever, I'm grateful for the time now. When I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I can truthfully say yes, if today was my last day, I want to do what I am about to do today although if today truly was my last day, I'd want to spend it with my husband and my children. If today is one seemingly normal day on the way to my last day (as it is) than being creative is perfect. What would make it even better would be getting paid to do what I love OR not needing to be paid at all. I'm intrigued with those two answers. I wonder which one will come about as I walk in that direction.

My generation was told to follow our passion and the money will follow. It was practically guaranteed so it's been a tough road for many of us to learn that it's not always true and that just because you want something, doesn't mean you can have it. If you can't sing, you can't sing. If the stars don't align, they don't align. That's a huge heartbreak many of us have had to get over which is unfortunate because even though we can't do that one thing, there are plenty of options. We're multi-faceted. We have more than one skill and ability. We have choices.

I was intrigued with the concepts in Creating A Life Worth Living that haven't been discussed in other self help books. This book is written specifically for creative people and the author, Carol Lloyd, spends considerable time helping readers to define their artistic personality and then to identify the types of day jobs that appeal to that personality. My personality does well in teaching, communications, secretarial, and administrative work. Imagine that. That's exactly the kind of work I'm looking at now. I know that I can be successful and satisfied in these positions and that my creativity will benefit from not needing to earn an income. It already has.

Over the last week, I've been listening to people talk and I've been intrigued by how many can not say no. These people - both men and women - speak as if they've somehow ended up in this situation beyond their control - where they don't want to be - but are forced to be - by forces beyond themselves. Realize that I'm not talking about things that truly are beyond your control like serious illness and recession and flat real estate markets. I'm talking about dinner invitations and tasks and being on committees that you don't want to be on, even working jobs we don't want to work. In those instances, I had no choice is victim talk. Yes, you did. Definitely, there are times for compromise especially when you live with other people but there are far more times for speaking up and saying no and living our one and only life.

Sometimes life takes a different shape than you thought it would but that doesn't mean it's no longer a good life. I'm warm, dry, fed, clothed, loved and living in a fabulous country with countless opportunities. Would I go back to creating, writing about creating, teaching about creating, AND earning a decent salary. Definitely and if that opportunity presents itself again, I will look at it closely however, at the moment that option doesn't exist and that means making another decision in which I can still say yes, if today was my last day, I want to do what I am about to do today .

I am the most disgusted with myself when I slip into victim mode and act as if I am trapped and helpless. I have the most respect for myself when I look at the options, make a decision, and get on with it. There's always a choice. If you don't make the one you want to make, you've still made one. I'm thankful to Steve Jobs for the reminder.

Yesterday, I started working on the Sandi handbag. I know it's only bag three of nine but so far, these have been the most difficult hands to blend. One is black, red, and white with a defined baseball print and the other is a mottled lime green with a yellow-ish tinge. It took a lot of figuring to get them to work together and then....

... I selected these fabrics. The baseball hand will go on the beige background and the lime hand will go on the blue background and the blue/green/red/gold stripe will blend everything. At least, that's the way it works in my mind. We'll see what actually happens.

My friend Barb IS coming today. I know I said that yesterday but when she checked her ticket Monday night, she discovered it was for Wednesday not Tuesday and when she called yesterday morning, it was too expensive to change at the last minute so she's coming today instead. That works too. She thinks she was looking at the September calendar when she made the booking. That could be but she's normally incredibly competent and detail oriented so I see it as a measure of how stressed she is. I'm all ready with a cozy chair, a warm cup of tea, a big hug, and some creative conversation.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - reminders and friends