Green With Envy

Today is knitting day, twice, except that I'm only going tonight. This morning my son has a doctor's appointment and then I'll drive him back to school and come home. Progress has been barely measurable since last week. I've knit less than an inch on the sleeves. I'm using a discontinued Moda Dea yarn called Vixen in a color called Green With Envy. That makes me laugh. It's about how I'm feeling right now - green with envy about other people's sewing progress and my lack of it.

For the past two weeks, I've been clicking through the various blogs that I read each day and while a few are suffering from lack of sewing mojo, just about everyone - or at least that's how it seems - has made tremendous progress on dresses, jackets, skirts, and tops that all seem to fit fabulously and look lovely. The friend that came on the 7th watched the jeans DVD with me and went home and sewed two pairs that weekend. LOL - I'm still thinking about it. I'm not used to this. A long sewing break is usually a couple days not a couple weeks.

Little green thoughts have been sneaking in about why isn't my sewing going so wonderfully as I lounge on the couch reading a book and munching on potato chips. Too funny. In contrast to these blogger's amazing work, I have been in super stall mode not finishing anything wearable in the entire two weeks that Howard was in Guatemala. I do know why, I just didn't want to talk about it and now, I'm hoping the drought is over.

For the past two and a half months, we thought my husband was going into the hospital today. We were pleased in that being admitted means access to faster testing and results however, we were worried because they don't do that for just anyone. We wondered what the doctor was thinking and looking for. Although his blood work doesn't show the presence of cancer, there is a small possibility due to some other issues. It makes you wonder. As the date got closer, I've been getting increasingly tense about what we would learn and how we would tell our kids and what's coming up next that we will have to deal with and, and, and...

... it's true and it's not. He does have an appointment at admitting, we were told it is for diagnostic testing that can be done quicker and easier that way than through the office, and what was said does make sense. It's exactly what happened last time he was sick. Only, when he called to confirm yesterday, they said yes... the appointment is at admitting... but you're not being admitted. The doctor has an office there. HELLO - could they not have explained this earlier. That would have relieved a tremendous amount of stress. It's not as scary now although - of course - we have different questions that will hopefully have some answers maybe even as early as this afternoon. Waiting is painful.

AND... from my point of view... hopefully this means the return of some productive sewing because yesterday...




... all I managed to do is pin the front and back pattern pieces to the fabric. Is that pathetic or is that pathetic? I'm almost too embarrassed to mention it. And, I'm getting jaded. I've only pinned the front and back, no facings, no sleeve. My plan is to sew these together first, try it on, and see if I'm willing to go further. Why waste fabric if I'm not? Darn... I'm not sure I like that attitude. It seems less than positive. I prefer being positive.

I really admired Claudine's new dress in her posting Unsure What To Sew. It's a gorgeous, too fancy to wear just anywhere, dress that she made for the fun of it and describes as "would make a really lovely wedding dress". WHAT FUN! I so admire that ability to just relax, and go with it, and do what you want to do irregardless of where you might wear it. I'd be a little green with envy about that too if it wasn't a lot closer to my usual way of being than this stall mode. There's hope for me. Perhaps, I'll be back to being me soon. I'm certainly inspired by her dress... and Dawn's dress... and Carolyn's jacket... and Amanda's top... and Katie's skirt... and... and... thanks for the inspiration.

OH... a while ago, several of you asked if I'd keep a blog roll. I'm not doing that for several reasons. The first one is that I have no idea what will be next in my professional life and if it will - or won't - include sewing in some form. When I was in business before, especially when I wrote The Quilter's Web for Quilter's Newsletter Magazine, it was a conflict of interest to maintain a blog roll. There was too much if you do this for me, I'll do that for you stuff going on at the time - so much that I found, being in the business, it was better to NOT have a list of links. As well...

... it's amazing how many emotions can be attached to getting (or not getting) a blog award or being listed (or not listed) on a blog roll or being mentioned (or not mentioned) in a posting. Erica just had a fascinating discussion on her blog around being friended or defriended on Facebook. Some of the comments were pretty lethal. I have no desire to deal with that in any way so - since statistics show that our number one need is for acceptance and our number one fear is of rejection and even blog rolls - being or not being listed - can cause all sorts of emotions, I'm not going there. I'd rather spend my time on the more interesting aspects of fashion sewing and include links in the postings when it makes sense like with Claudine's fabulous dress.

Something that I'm finding quite interesting is the appearance of back seams. The blouse I'm sewing - Simplicity 2892 - has a seam down the back. My T & T t-shirt pattern has a seam down the back. For those of us with sway backs or high hips, these are tremendously helpful although - to be honest - I really can't see the purpose in my blouse since it's so loose fitting. Typically these seams are in sewing and not in RTW but... very interestingly... I bought...





... this black t-shirt on the weekend and it has a back seam - in a t-shirt - in RTW. This is a brand called Segments that is sold at Costco. I've bought quite a few of their t-shirts over the years. They're durable, long lasting, well sewn, and typically fit me quite well except that now that I'm buying a smaller size for my shoulders, I'm getting a bit of that pulling across the bust that I mentioned yesterday. Oh well... the back fits lovely.

The seam is serged. That's not the right word but I can't think of it right now - overstitched perhaps. What I'm trying to say is the stitching is visible, almost decorative, and it works in a casual way. It wouldn't be too good for a dressier look however, I find with a print that the seam is barely visible and for a solid, this just might do the trick. Intriguing that RTW is, in this case, following a trend in fashion sewing... or at least that's how it looks from my perspective and perspective is everything. Hopefully mine is going to go from green with envy to happy as a pig in a mud puddle or something equally productive - LOL.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - my SIL got a new job and starts next week. YES YES!

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Personal Growth - Yesterday, I spent a lot of time thinking about control. Being controlling is one way of managing fear. If you look at many of the situations in your life, they can be traced back to that fear of rejection and that need for acceptance. However, being controlling is also somewhat arrogant in assuming that I and I alone have the right answer to whatever is going on in this particular situation and that everyone else is wrong.

The year that I set a goal to learn to listen, to learn to agree to disagree, and to learn to say I'm sorry was the year that I realized I didn't have to have all the right answers. Everything did not have to go my way. How freeing.

God can use any path of progress that He chooses to use to bring His people to the answers He wants them to have in His timing which - darn - just could be a whole lot slower than I think it should be like in this situation with my husband's health. AND... that's the way it's supposed to be. I'm not God. There is a great relief in learning to give up control. Unfortunately, it's a lesson I'm still learning although thankfully to lesser degrees as time goes on.