A Year Ago

A year ago - almost today - after a twenty year career as an author and instructor in quilt making, I made the decision to retire. It took a long time and was a difficult decision to make and now, a year later, I can truthfully say that I don't regret it at all. It was time.

I believe in celebration and when you work for yourself by yourself, it's not likely that anyone is going to throw you a retirement party - which meant organizing my own. It was important to me to recognize my career. A lot of blood, sweat, and tears went into the failures and the successes of those years. Planning my own party made my friends laugh. They said it was "so Myrna" and that they were glad I'd marked the occasion because while they wouldn't have thought of it, now that I had, they wanted to come. Yes and too fun.




We went to a local tea house where they treated me to lunch, presents, and wonderful comments about my career, my character, and our friendship. It was touchy, feely, fabulous. Instead of a gold watch, I bought myself a very expensive set of knitting needles and some equally expensive linen yarn.

At the time, my intention was to continue with a career as a textile artist. That didn't happen. By September 2009 when I'd finished the nine pieces for an upcoming exhibit, it was obvious that the economy could not - and was not likely to be able to any time soon - support such a specialized interest. That was even more apparent in January 2010 when I delivered the pieces to the gallery for the exhibit. While my art was available and admired, the market and the money weren't there.

If you've read Malcolm Gladwell's book The Outliers, you'll understand the concept of ten thousand hours. I'd put in my time. I'd developed the skills and abilities. I'd secured exposure in quite a few high end galleries. I was on the cusp. I'd become a skilled and somewhat recognized artist and even so - and even though I thoroughly enjoy creating textile art - the economy was beyond my control. The recession meant it was time to get real. This wasn't going to be my moment. The stars were not aligning. As a business, this wouldn't work.

A business that makes money is a success. A business that does not make money is not a success. The question was never am I good artist - I am. The question was always is this a sustainable business - NO. Realizing that, I decided to completely close the business and - LOL - bought myself a dress form to celebrate the decision.

Although I've had several sales in the last year from opportunities that were already in the works when I made my decision, they have not been enough to sustain the cost of producing the art pieces never mind earning a living of any kind - not even part time. If more had sold, I would have had to question my decision. As it is, this is a relief.

Over the next few months, I'll be picking up art pieces from four different galleries. When all the pieces are back home, there will be almost twenty five sitting - unsold - in my studio. While I don't quite know what to do with these pieces, I am also not revisiting the question. It's settled. All that remains to discover is what's next.

A year later, I still don't know the answer to that question but I do know that I am enjoying the return to sewing fashions IMMENSELY. This is something I've been wanting to get back to for a long time. Now is the time and while there have been some frustrating moments, there have also been moments of incredible creativity. There is endless potential in clothing as an expression of self just as there was in textile art. YES YES. I can hardly wait to explore that more. I feel as if I've barely begun to scratch the surface.

But not today. Today, I'm spending with my daughter. I'm glad that she had other things to do these last few days since I've been miserable company. BUT... today is MY day. YES YES! I'm looking forward to our time together although I've been quite sick all weekend. I would of course get an amazing cold on the weekend when I least want it - VBG - oh well. What I don't want is to be tired today. Hopefully all goes well. I missed the baby shower but with my sniffly nose, there would have been no baby snuggles and with my allergies, no yummy nibbles so it's just as well. I'll make up for it at lunch. We're going for Indian food, something new for Jessica, something yummy for me. Have a great day.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a day with my daughter

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Personal Growth - There's a paradox in the notion that creativity should be a habit. We think of creativity as a way of keeping everything fresh and new, while habit implies routine and repetition. That paradox intrigues me because it occupies the place where creativity and skill rub up against each other. It takes skill to bring something you've imagined into the world: to use words to create believable lives, to select the colors and textures of paint to represent a haystack at sunset, to combine ingredients to make a flavorful dish. No one is born with that skill. It is developed through exercise, through repetition, through a blending of learning and reflection that is both painstaking and rewarding. Even Mozart, with all his innate gifts, his passion for music, and his father's devoted tutelage, needed to get twenty-four youthful symphonies under his belt before he composed something enduring with number twenty-five. If art is the bridge between what you see in your mind and what the world sees, then skill is how you build that bridge. - page 9, The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharpe

How many times have you heard someone say I wish I could sew (or whatever) like you. Really? Because if they really wanted to they would. We learn to do the work by doing the work and as we do it over and over again our hands begin to move with ease as our minds bubble with creativity.

Learning any skill (attaining any goal) takes an investment of time, money, and energy as well as a determined desire to do what it really takes. What it takes is way more than wishing. It's not easy. There is no magic bullet. I know this just as I know that in some areas of my life I'm still wishing. Life's like that. We wish and eventually, if we truly wish, we do.