Do I Have Too Much Potential?

At one point on Saturday I thought it might be best to head back to bed, crawl under the covers, and start over. It was a day of complicating the issues. I spent five hours carrying the linen closet downstairs and bringing the fabric closet up. At one point, while I was sorting the fabric and there were piles spread all over the floor, the globe fell off the ceiling fixture, hit the only available floor space, and shattered in a million directions - me in my bare feet. Not only was there glass in, on, over, and through all the fabric and everything else, it damaged the surface of our brand new floor. Like that - it was one of those kinds of days.

In the early afternoon, I went for a job interview for a 12-15 hour a week position as a sales clerk in a ladies dress shop. It lasted eight minutes. Immediately they asked if I'd be willing to take a 18-22 hour a week position as an assistant manager and as flattering as that was, I would have always been working four hour shifts including one night every week and alternating weekends and would ALWAYS have been working alone. I prefer my alone time at home in the studio. Why is it the company I want to work for can't see my potential and the one that can isn't offering a position that works? Life's like that.

The studio is mostly finished. I moved the "stuff" and Howard moved the cabinets and desks. He said he didn't mind helping although it took all of Saturday night after he got home from work and most of Sunday. We moved two of the upper cabinets, reconfigured the work island into a work counter, re-built one unit into shelving, and constructed a new unit of drawers. It's fabulous. The in-closet computer desk is not together yet so I'm typing from my laptop. The desk will be set up as soon as possible and other than that, the lighting is terrible and for the third time - my husband - the Saint - will be installing a full spectrum florescent light fixture. And I'll be happy. This space feels like me.

It's intriguing - in a not so funny but eventually will be amusing - sort of way the journey to this studio. I was absolutely confident that I'd be fine in the last position but I wasn't just like I wasn't fine in the first position even though both were reminiscent of previous studios. BUT... in the middle... I had the most amazing studio and it changed me and I developed a new "norm". It's sequential. We have to learn this before we can learn that before we can move on to something even more. Once we've learned it, we can never go back. We're changed. I'm now a defined spaces with windows and no carpet kind of studio girl and I'd prefer a smaller space just to have those features.

The studio is about a third of the size of the studio in my previous house with only the sewing desks, a working counter, the computer tucked in the closet, and Millicent (my dress form). Everything else has been streamlined and - surprisingly - there are two empty shelves, an empty half cupboard, and some space in the closet. The only thing I eliminated was half of a box of scraps left over from The Handbag Project plus I rolled a sweater back into balls and took the beads off an art jacket and cut it up into pieces. Everything else was storable.

Moving everything gives you an opportunity to assess the flow of the studio and the work you're producing or want to produce.  At first I put the yarn in the baskets above and then moved it back into boxes in the stash closet and put lingerie supplies in the baskets. I sew lingerie more often than I knit - which is not often and not fast - and even so I have three boxes of yarn. I do NOT need more yarn!

The lower drawer in the new unit is narrower and deeper than the two drawers in my previous pattern cabinet. All the patterns fit but barely. There's not a smidgen of stuff it room and ten more patterns are on their way. Perhaps I should reread that book on my shelf - Making A Complete Wardrobe From 4 Basic Patterns. The irony!

My friend Lorraine was in town on the weekend and came by for a visit. She was particularly interested in how I stored beading supplies and thought I'd have some highly organized and efficient system. Not then. Now, they're sorted into either clear containers or ziplock bags in these four baskets in the top drawer along with other supplies. The drawer below has another six baskets that hold purse and jewelry making supplies. Two drawers. Twelve baskets. A lot of potential.

The question do I have too much potential? popped into my head several times during the move. My conclusion is no but I am at the edge between creative flow and overload. Now is the time to be grateful for all that I have, to focus on maximizing its abundance, and to move forward.

When Marcy and I talked about some areas of difficulty in my life, she suggested that I walk in MY direction and trust that what I need will appear. That can be hard to do especially when certain situations keep happening BUT... how true and what other choice is there? Looking at the potential in my studio reminds me that there is equal potential in many areas of my life and that choice can equal change.

Studio pictures as soon as the computer desk and the light are up.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a space that feels right