We also talked about yesterday's posting. We've been friends for a long time and she understands what I mean when I talk about not fitting in and yet she couldn't believe that I would actually mention in print, online, how I felt. That doesn't bother me. To me, it's honest and I see honesty about my own life as a way to support and encourage other women. It's really important to me. I believe that secrecy creates more issues than honesty ever will.
THANK YOU so much for all the comments. I appreciate the thoughts to ponder. What I find interesting about mentioning our struggles is exactly what happened - we identify with each other After my 30th high school reunion, ten of us "girls" got together for drinks and appetizers. The conversation came around to not fitting in and we all expressed the same feelings about high school. Too bad that we couldn't have talked about it way back when.
What I was alluding to yesterday is neither depression nor chronic unhappiness. Nor is it the kind of not fitting in as in not knowing what the joke was or not being invited to the party although we all experience that kind of exclusion at times, some more than others. It's more of an awareness that's hard to explain.
I discussed it last night with my husband. He’s an extremely talented mechanic as in not just good but beyond the norm. He works in highway and mining equipment and truckers will drive clear across Canada to see him. He gets calls from everywhere. Even though he works in a shop with other mechanics and for a company with lots of mechanics, he has very few people to talk to who get him and can converse on that level and a lot of people who either resent him or want him to solve their problems. I experienced something equivalent when I worked in an office.
One of our friends is a mathematical genius. There are five people in North America at his level. Everyone else's eyes glaze over and roll back even though they're good at math too, just not the same kind of good. Five people. That's lonely.
That's the kind of not fitting in that I meant – the knowing that you’re different in some way and feeling like you don’t fit but wishing you did because it seems like it might make life easier but then again what would you have to lose to fit. When Marcy and Diane started talking at the workshop, it was one of the first times that I have experienced so strong a connect. It was like hearing my own voice. You might note how far away they live from me - half a province, an international border, and two states. There's no popping over for coffee - VBG.
That was also the first workshop I've taken where I was not the only woman wearing a skirt, heels, jewelry, make-up, or who did my hair. LOVED IT!
Many of the friends I had before the life transition I mentioned yesterday were not friends afterward - but not Caroline. We've been friends for thirty-four years and it's a relationship I greatly treasure. We're not exactly on the same page but we're definitely reading the same book. The picture above was taken at the DOL workshop where she was playing with paints and stamps and stencils.
Prior to attending - as in our hotel room, the night before, on top of the king size bed, pinned to the bedspread - she'd cut out the pieces for Vogue 8620 in a dark, medium weight denim. I love that fabric. I kept the scraps. No surprise there!
Here's the finished front and...
... the side-back and ...
... the other side-back. How fun is that!!! - and so encouraging as I think about the bleached knit and the coverstitch machine and the stencils I brought home with me.
What hasn't been encouraging is how my own project has dragged on. I couldn't face any more purse work yesterday - even if it was paperwork - so I put the zipper in - twice - and then exposed. That might have been cute if I actually wore tops tucked in but I'm short waisted and never do. With the top out, you see the bottom three inches of the zipper with the silver stopper and the ends flipping their hey look here, wide behind ahead sign. LOL - not my best look.
PLUS... notice that the stripes go diagonally downhill. I know they're random but couldn't they have randomly morphed every which way not randomly morphed left to right, top to bottom. Sigh. And then...
... there was the hem. No two panels are the same length because I randomly cut wedges and then randomly stitched tucks and each wedge has a different number of tucks and... you get the idea. When I started this project, I did it with absolutely no forethought - on purpose. I didn't want to over think which I'm exceptionally talented at but frankly some thinking was warranted. There's leaping and then there's jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. NOT a good idea.
So now I'm thinking. About how I'm tired of sewing purses and ready for fashions. About how I desperately need some clothes. Desperately. About the multitude of creative ideas swirling around in my head demanding to be explored. About how this skirt not being finished and not heading in the most positive of directions is set to become complicated, intense, and long drawn out with iffy results. Another NOT good idea. I've decided to view it as a prototype, move it over to the wadder pile, and carry on while I think about how to morph it into a top. YES! YES!
Talk soon - Myrna
Grateful - so many supportive comments
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Purse Price List In Canadian Dollars
P12-1 - $250.00
P12-3 - $250.00
P12-6 - $295.00
P12-7 - $250.00
P12-8 - $250.00
P12-9 - $250.00
P12-10 - $195.00
P12-11 - $250.00
P12-12 - $250.00
P12-13 - $295.00
P12-14 - $250.00
P12-15 - $195.00
The two shown yesterday and P12-4 above which I forgot to show sold for $195.00, $250.00 and $250.00
Ah,gotcha. That IS a different thing entirely. I've had versions of this conversation with other friends who are artists/musicians. It's part of the landscape.
ReplyDeleteI've thought a lot about "finding my tribe" over the years. Now, I'm interested in "creating my tribe." An energy shift.
As for the skirt: If it's a wadder, it's a wadder! It will be fun to see how it morphs into something else.
I think the secret to wardrobe sewing is the same one you mentioned in talking about your art: you have to let go of the product and embrace the process. This is my fourth year of sewing clothes for myself and I'm just starting to be happy with (some) of the garments I make. Its not just about fit and fabric choice and silhouette. Its also about learning how to sew for your lifestyle and social environment, learning what kinds of clothes make you happy, learning where you visual sense and your practical needs intersect. I think that can be really fun but its hard to do when you feel you need to make something just to have something to wear. I found that buying or thrifting a few things (eg. simple knit pants or jeans, t-shirts, etc) or making do with whatever ill-fitting and unflattering things were already in my closet was very helpful for sewing things I actually liked and enjoyed making.
ReplyDeleteMyrna,
ReplyDeleteI wasn't able to read yesterday's blog until now. I really love your work! The purses turned out so nicely. My fav is the big bottom one. I hope you are very successful in selling them in the art gallery.
Your personal thoughts were thought provoking. Since you've spoken about your faith as a Christian, I'll add a thought along those lines for you to consider. A wise person said to me this week something basic but profound: When I put Christ at the center of my life, I will get my identity in Him and thus feel the joy of the Lord and the peace that surpasses understanding. However, when Self is at the center of my life, I try to get my identity from how others see me - instead of how the Lord sees me.
Maybe that isn't where you're at or I'm out of place to say that. It just really struck a chord with me as a truth I knew intellectually, but had not lived. With Christ's help, I'll be able to do it correctly.
Thank you for sharing your life. You make me think. I too look forward to reading your blog daily.
Carrie
You have great skills with colour and fabric so the transition to fashion will be an extension of those skills. I look forward to seeing this.
ReplyDeleteLove your clothes by the way.