Because you refuse to fritter away your future trying to regain your past, you'll see something amazing start to happen. You'll find yourself looking forward to getting up every morning because it's life you love, not some person you have a crush on. You'll start to see everything around you with open eyes instead of the tunnel vision of a hunter looking for prey. You'll feel excitement about what you're going to create because without doubts and inner conflicts to sap your energy, or fear of disapproval to make you cautious, you're going to sail! You're going to create things no one but you could possibly create, find out that nothing is more fun than hard work you love to do. And you're especially going to enjoy the precious hours you give yourself in which to do absolutely nothing. - Barbara Sher, introduction, It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now.
Regarding the last two posts - VBG - all I was trying to say is that I have always been aware that I think and move through life differently than most people and that that difference is exacerbated by the fact that I work alone and am passionately engaged in an activity that the majority of people know nothing about. You notice.
SO... just to clarify, in case, because I wouldn't want you to think otherwise... I am not depressed. I am not unhappy. I am not discouraged. I am not desperately lonely, just slightly now and then. I am not feeling abandoned, unloved, or unfulfilled. From a Christian perspective, God is center. I have purpose and energy and a passion and many friends who are involved in all sorts of interesting areas of life that they share with me. Most are not involved in the arts although one is a musician and one is a painter. They share the arts but not my art form. Several friends sew. I sew at a many black notes level to their row row your boat. I am their creative counsel; they are not mine and because of that reality, these friends that I love and am grateful for do not stop me from wanting to share my passion with those at a similar level to my own and to be part of a "tribe" that gets me. It's normal and as Jean said, part of the landscape.
Jean also wrote - I've thought a lot about "finding my tribe" over the years. Now, I'm interested in "creating my tribe." An energy shift.
I would be VERY interested in having you explain what you mean further. I tried creating a tribe from the perspective of joining or starting numerous groups and by introducing myself to other sewists and artists and by either visiting them or inviting them over. It was a lot of work that didn't go the way I'd hoped. I decided that the constant trying was a wall I'd prefer to stop bashing my head against and for the past few years I've worked at accepting that what is, is and at finding peace and joy in the here and now, at being open to possibilities while realizing there are no guarantees, and at attempting to become more visible. In that time, some progress has been made and I am celebrating the community that I am a part of even though it is small and wide spread.
In Malcolm Gladwell's book The Outliers: The Story of Success, he wrote something along the lines of - it wasn't that you didn't try hard enough or that you weren't good enough, the stars simply didn't align. When I read that, it was a HUGE relief in many areas of life. If you can't sing, you can't sing. If the economy is tanked, the economy is tanked. Reality is reality. Things don't always go the way we think they should go but even when they don't, that doesn't mean that other things aren't going in amazing and enjoyable and energizing ways. No life is forever smooth sailing but there are little miracles everywhere and precious, creative, inspiring moments.
It's my older brother's birthday tomorrow. The last time I talked to him, he asked me to send some pictures of the condo so I took a few yesterday morning - at the crack of dawn - when the light was so amazing. From May until October, we can have coffee on the porch with a view of the valley. Cuddle blankets are sometimes required depending on how cool the weather is but early on, or later in the day when the traffic settles, it's quiet and peaceful to sit out there.
On the save money rather than earn money each day plan, finishing the island has been put off until later. We're using it anyway. The stools were less than half price a few weeks ago. They are a bit high and hard so the plan is to cut 2" off the legs, paint each stool a different color, add 1" of foam to the seats, and make multi-colored covers. I'll do that sometime in the winter when the weather is cold outside. Next week, I have some garden work to do which could be good considering....
... this not so gorgeous view. I imagine you can relate to how devastated I am. My machine is sick - so sick that it has to go to the shop. The stitch length regulator only produces teeny tiny stitches. Thankfully it waited until I finished the purses. I phoned and they'll try to fit it in asap but it may not be home before Monday or Tuesday next week and that depends on what's wrong. It could be longer. There's no loaner available right now and I don't own multiple machines so hopefully this does not get ugly. I'm somewhat addicted to sewing - for hours - each day - almost every day. Guess I'll be knitting - LOL - and resisting the urge to pull out my credit card and buy a second machine I don't really want, I just want it badly right now.
Just before the breakdown, I started sewing Katharine Tilton's Vogue 8691. I've read a lot of good reviews for this pattern and especially enjoyed the versions that Margy made found here and here and I think she had a third one in red but I couldn't find the link. The pattern has princess seams and looks like it would work well with curvy figures like mine. My current T & T pattern eases the side seam through the bust and that only works well with fabrics that stretch in all directions. This pattern is designed for crosswise stretch only. I'd like to develop a different - or another - T & T so I have more options.
I wasn't sure if I'd have enough fabric so I drafted pink lines raising the armhole an additional 3/8" above the seam allowance for 1" in total and moving the shoulder edge in 5/8". That way, I could just bind the edges and make a sleeveless top except it wasn't necessary. There was just enough fabric. It would have been cute. Maybe next time.
Several months ago I watched a video on Silhouette patterns in which Peggy said to wrap the knit fabric around you until it fits with the amount of ease you would like, mark where the edges meet, measure the distance between, and sew the corresponding size. Of course, I couldn't just test the pattern. I felt I had to test that idea too because it seems just perfect for dealing with the fabric factor of knits. My measurement corresponded with a size 8. I normally sew a 14. Yes... well... I'll baste the seams first.
Talk soon - Myrna
Grateful - little miracles
Little Gems. As a community of artists, like minded people are able to meet, here, in the most unlikely place. Our goals, our successes and failures can be documented and articulated. We may live continents apart but it is that thread of understanding the allows us to share. Your postings are genuine and insightful and clearly define you as the person we know here. Of course, we are all much more than we can describe in a blog post, but it is the discourse that expands us as people. I have not considered you depressed, lonely etc. Instead, I consider that you honestly portray your life and your art with sensitivity and flair.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading your posts even though I do not comment regularly. In addition, I want you to know that I am inspired by your gems of knowledge, of inspiration and hope. Thank you.
Interesting about the "tribe" concept.
ReplyDeleteMy poor mama, having 3 kinds of dementia, one of them severe....had no idea who I was. But she knew that I was part of her tribe. That I belonged to her somehow, she just didn't know how.
She knew the difference between people in her tribe and people not in her tribe. And I was in her tribe; that's the best she could do.
If you can't sing, you can't sing...how true. But dang, I sure can play the violin well!
I am one of the commenters who did interpret the feeling of "not belonging" as a sad one. It was a sad thought/feeling for me. I am sorry for the misinterpretation. It goes to show that we can never truly get inside someone else's reality; we really all experience the world through our own eyes and skin. It is good to be reminded of this from time to time.
ReplyDeleteHey Myrna,
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to explain the difference between "finding" and "creating" a tribe ... perhaps it's more of a matter of intent. Remember, in the old days, when our 20-something girlfriends were rabidly dating, looking for that special guy? Nothing happened. It was when they let go that someone appeared.
At least, that was how it was among my friends. And I've had the same experience when trying to find midlife friends, creative partners, etc. It's when I am not looking that interesting people appear.
So for me, it's a combination of not pushing to make something happen plus being receptive when new people or opportunities present themselves.