Our Best With Balance

Friday night on the news, Peter Mansbridge interviewed Anne Murray. He asked her what music she was listening to now that she has retired. She said (paraphrased) that she was tired of music and that right now she was spending time on herself, doing the things she's been wanting to do and putting off for years, while working on not feeling guilty about that. YES YES

Last night on Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Michael Molony talked about the Montgomery family and how they give back to their community through their food, furniture, and clothing bank called Salt & Light. He said, "the purpose of life is a life of purpose". YES YES

Both of these statements ring true for me and yet I was glad that Anne talked about dealing with the guilt. It is very easy to watch a show like Extreme Makeover, see how one person or group of people is giving back in an area of basic needs, think about how you are trying to find balance and refreshing in your own life, and start to feel REALLY guilty about that decision. Guilt is not needed.

I believe - and you may not agree with me and that's okay - that each of us has a life purpose and that while those purposes will have different expressions and outcomes, they are of equal value. What is most important is not the specific thing that we each do but that each of us finds and fulfills OUR specific thing. One life purpose is no more or no less important than another EVEN THOUGH judgements will be passed - including by ourselves. Along with finding our purpose, is finding peace within that purpose.

Years ago, I defined my purpose as to support and encourage others (especially women) to their best and to share the gospel. That purpose is combined with my skills and abilities. On a down day - a day when I see someone who is feeding, clothing, and housing the poor while I'm teaching how to sew a better seam, what hair style suits which face shape, how to dress for a body type, and the best way to renovate a house or the power of thinking positive, visualizing success, rephrasing, and building esteem - it is easy for me to think that what they are doing is far more important than what I am doing.

Comparisons will drag us down every time. To repeat - one person's purpose is no more important than another's. They are simply different. If we were all doing the same things, the world wouldn't function too well. What is SO IMPORTANT is to be our best with balance.

When our life is all about others with no nurturing of self, that way of being is as equally wrong as when our life is all about ourselves with no nurturing of others. The format in which we each reach out and touch the lives around us is one that is unique to our interests, skills, abilities, and purpose. Finding that format, and living into it, allows us to live at our best life with balance.

I just hugged Kyle good-bye and sent him off to school and I'll be here to hug him again when he gets home. It's wonderful to have this time to focus on my family. My oldest child is 23, married and moved out. The middle one is 20, in university, and still living at home. And, the youngest is 16 and in high school. This is the first time in all of these child raising years that my number one task is my home and my family. How fabulous.

I recognize how lucky I am to have this opportunity although it was somewhat forced on me by circumstances. It was something that I had talked about wishfully and then, it became a reality - and it's good - and even so, I get grumpy from time to time. When I do, my mood usually has something to do with money and acquiring more things or paying off things already acquired like a mortgage or with meaningful work.

However, when I weigh the pros and cons, I am exactly where I need to be at this moment and over time, the thing that I am to do next - in terms of work - will be revealed. Until then, it is absolutely vital that I refresh and create balance in my life so that I can continue to reach out to - and support others in - their life's journey. I hope my little lecture to myself is encouraging to any of you in a similar situation.




On a completely different note - but still connected - here is our first loaf of flax bread. We mixed it up in the bread maker last night and when it beeped ready, I turned it out on the cutting board. Nothing happened. When I used the spatula to loosen the edges, the center fell out leaving the crust inside the canister. The middle was slightly mushy and inedible and the edges cooked and crunchy. I slathered them with Earth Balance (a butter substitute) and enjoyed them along with salmon and vegetables for dinner. While I'd been anticipating a slice of bread, even a sandwich, I happily settled for the crust.

Challenge, with a touch of obsessive compulsive, is beginning to creep into my cooking life. I've been reading gluten free, dairy free cookbooks and learning about substitutions and techniques as well as about different tools like a Vita-Mix blender and a Japanese Mandolin slicer. I commented to Howard yesterday that I might need some kitchen gadgets - a completely foreign concept in our house. There is a teeny tiny little bubble of enthusiasm beginning to grow. Yesterday, I learned that gluten free bread dough looks more like cake batter. I found myself thinking that I'd bake the next loaf by "hand". When I mentioned that to the boys, they teased me about learning to love cooking.

While talking to my friend Rosemarie, she said that the first time she heard me say I don't cook that she thought I was teasing. I wasn't. I've been known to burst into tears at the sight of all those brown paper packages in the freezer. Closing my business was one step toward returning to better balance in my life. There was a time when I made all our meals. I even grew a garden, froze vegetables, canned fruit, and made jams and jellies.

Life and illness and stress and the business all piled up to make cooking a completely overwhelming, task. When there was too much to handle in the rest of my life, this was the thing that I let go of. So much so that I can't quite remember those days but the part of me that feels it's important to eat healthy and to feed my family healthy, nourishing meals is catching up with the part of me that doesn't cook. I'm cooking about 50-60% of the time now. There's hope.

Rosemarie came over to knit for four hours on Saturday afternoon. It was wonderful to spend time chatting and knitting together. I finished the back, one front, and about half of the second front of the sweater I showed you last week. The pattern is merely a guideline. I'm not really following it because my gauge is slightly different and because the original garment has a dropped shoulder and I prefer a fitted one. As I knit, I'm not beating myself up about what I don't know or about doing it right. I'm just trying this and trying that and doing my best with what I have - an attitude that works well in all areas of life - like cooking. We learn by doing.

Today, I want to finish the second sweater front and then the bra and then the t-shirt. Maybe I will; maybe I won't. We'll see what comes up because I talked about finishing these things all last week and never got them done. Life's like that some days. Oh well.

While I'm knitting and stitching, I am also thinking about the 2010 Sewing With A Plan contest that is being sponsored on Stitcher's Guild. I've mostly decided to enter because I find that having a project to work on helps me to focus on a task. I'll give it more thought and tell you about it tomorrow. This posting is more than long enough and somewhat rambling even though in my mind the topics are connected to doing my best and to supporting and encouraging others in their best. Have a great day.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - ongoing learning of life's lessons