High School Reunion ? ? ? ?

A week Saturday is my 30th high school reunion. I have mixed emotions around attending. I might; I might not. I just don't know and probably won't until the day of although not knowing hasn't stopped me from thinking about what to wear IF I attend. My emotions around that are just as mixed up as those around attending.

The high school years were not the best years of my life. I was not girl most popular. I did not fit in. It's doubtful I ever could have even if I'd known how. Life was a mess. I had few friends. Thirty years later, I'm not in contact with anyone from my graduating class. Occasionally, I run into another class member and we surface reminisce and then life moves on. They are no more interested in me now than they were then. Which makes me wonder, why does one go to a high school reunion?

Is it to say look at me, aren't I wonderful, do you like me now? Is it to compare our children, our careers, how well or not we've aged, our excess or lack of excess weight, our retained youthfulness or our degree of wrinkledness, our married or not status, or our rung on the social ladder? Is it to connect for some brief moment and then move on again in our separate ways? There seems little reason to attend beyond curiosity and comparison. Is that healthy?

I'm still pondering these questions as I try to figure out what to wear - IF I go - what do I want my clothes to say about me? Of course, I'd have to over-think the whole thing. I couldn't just show up and let the chips fall where they may. That wouldn't be me which - LOL - is one reason why I never fit in in the first place.




Yesterday, I started reading The Thoughtful Dresser: The Art of Adornment, the Pleasures of Shopping, and Why Clothes Matter by Linda Grant. The back of the book reads... a thinking woman's guide to what we wear. For centuries, an interest in clothes has been dismissed as a trivial pursuit of vain, empty-headed women. Yet, clothes matter, whether you are interested in fashion or not, because how we choose to dress defines who we are. How we look and what we wear tells a stories. Some stories are simple, like the teenager trying to fit in, or the woman turning fifty renouncing invisibility. Some are profound, like that of the immigrant who arrives in a new country and works to blend in by changing the way she dresses, or of the woman whose hat saved her life in Nazi Germany. The Thoughtful Dresser celebrates the pleasure of adornment and is an elegant meditation on our relationship with what we wear and the significance of clothes as the most intimate but also public expressions of our identity.

I'm only part way through. Being an over thinker, it's always seemed a contradiction that I'm interested in clothes and make-up and shoes and handbags and things like that while at the same time reading psychology and business and self help. I might be somewhat vain although I'm not empty headed. Clothes do matter to me whether I'm viewing them on myself or someone else. I find them fascinating. And I believe that clothes create a first and an ongoing impression of who we are and what we want people to think about us. Linda Grant, the author, is obviously a thinking woman which makes us somewhat similar. She loves clothes, she loves shopping, she knows the designer names and the industry. And yet, she doesn't seem to have that innate ability to put it all together. She's still trying to figure it out. Me too.

Our number one question in life is do you see me, do I matter? I am both that teenager trying to fit in and that woman approaching fifty renouncing invisibility. I've spent a lot of time this past year looking at what I wear and why, defining my style, and attempting to wear me rather than walk around in this familiar skin of the last twenty years that I'm trying to shed - my jeans and a black t-shirt uniform. I want to sew the majority of my clothing and yet, it's like a treadmill. I can't seem to catch up before something else goes on in my life that absorbs copious amounts of time. It's beginning to feel like I'm going backward more than anything BUT... it will come together. Baby steps. Step by step.




My goal for the reunion - IF I attend - is to feel both emotionally and physically comfortable in what I wear. This flippy skirt made a few months ago is one of my favourite garments. The fabric has a slight stretch and fits smoothly and yet it moves when I do. The garment cups my behind giving me a bit more shape than usual and the peplum at the hem is flippy, flirty, fun. There's a bit of glitter in the fabric, the turquoise is bright but not overdone, and the print moves and has life in an abstract, contemporary way. It's short and shapely but not desperate.

I even like it with the black t-shirt. I'm very comfortable in black and love wearing it with colorful accessories only most of my black t-shirts are looking quite faded and I'd prefer something with an elbow or three quarter-length sleeves and perhaps a few details around the neckline although I'd like to keep the shape through the waist. I have one so I may as well show it off.

Yesterday, I bought some black knit yardage at Fabricland. It's a cotton/Lycra blend. I was hoping to get it on sale - which I did. I also got it free. On the way through the mall to the fabric store, I first checked out what was available in RTW and then I stopped at the ticket center to check my lottery ticket. I won twenty dollars, took that into the fabric store, paid for the knit which was half price already, and walked away with free fabric and an extra ten bucks in my wallet. TOO FUN!

The fabric is washed and ready to sew. I just have to figure out what I want to do with it. I'm going to use my T & T pattern as the base and add details. Here are a few images from Anthropologie that I'm using as inspiration.

What I like about The Curated Tee - $88.00 - is the sleeves. They'd be easy to do with some transparent elastic and add both detail and a balancing aspect for my hips without being too out there. They'd combine with almost any neckline.




The Embraceable Tee - $68.00 - above has an interesting neckline detail. It's a bunch of ruffled pieces of knit sewn on in a decorative manner. I like it and I'm not sure about whether it would detract from the ability to wear jewelry. The neckline of the Trickle Down Top - $78.00 - below is made from pleated chiffon. Skip the trailing bit and it's pretty and would allow for a necklace only it might be too prissy for me.




The neckline on the Crepe Myrtle Cardigan - $178.00 - is done with short pieces of fabric, sewn on, and tied into knots. Very easy. Soft with a barbed wire kind of look. Slightly different. Not overdone. It intrigues me and would allow for jewelry.




I also saw a Burda pattern that I can't find a copy of and probably can't describe properly. The main body was knit, the neckline opening was woven with small ruffles, and the sleeves were woven with gathers at the elbow. The woven fabric was pleated. The combination of woven and knit was interesting. Again, I wondered if it was too prissy which really gives me a clue to where I'm going - not to prissy, definitely to interesting.

This morning, I'm hoping to paint those chairs. Yesterday was taken up with errands that Howard needed to run. This afternoon is coffee with a friend. Later today, I'd like to start on the t-shirt or I might curl up and finish the rest of the book. Once I start sewing, it won't take too long although I won't wait until the last minute, just in case. Have a great weekend.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - that while some struggles seem to stick around for a lifetime, others are overcome