One of the things I realized early on in my art career is that we all see through the paradigms of our own experiences. Because our experiences differ from the experiences of the author or artist whose work we are viewing, we can never fully grasp their message although at some times we'll be closer than at others.
I make every attempt to keep that awareness in mind as I write the blog especially when I feel misunderstood. I try to remember that what I write is being read through the filter of my reader's experiences which differ from mine and that written communication - minus tone and body language - is far more difficult to interpret than it appears.
I realize that when we blog, we are putting our lives out there to be judged and critiqued and that in the process we will get all kinds of responses... HOWEVER... I hope readers realize that they are reading only what the blogger chooses to tell them which does not encompass the whole of every action and every thought and every decision and every circumstance in which the blogger finds themselves. We can experience understanding and empathy however, all factors will never be known nor equal.
I do not find any version of make myself look better by making you look worse healthy no matter which direction it's stated in. What is, is. We each handle our lives to the best of our ability with the resources we've been given. In my opinion, the opportunity to share each other's journey, to support and encourage, is one of the most incredible gifts of life. That's the focus I prefer to live and write and create from - not that I'm perfect.
Gail D wrote - Your symptoms are not that unusual and can be treated. You seem to be dithering about in a panic, and it's time for some action! ... for God's sake, use drugs as prescribed... You're extremely fortunate that you have only the challenges you have and not what I have... You'd never survive it.
And this is helpful how? I'm somewhat stunned by this comment and not quite sure how to interpret it so I'll chose to assume the intent is positive while noting in response to dithering about in a panic that reading back in the blog would illustrate how invalid that observation is although not all doctor's appointments and treatment options and prescriptions taken and naturopathic remedies pursued have been mentioned because - IMHO - reading about another's health gets beyond boring quite quickly.
To get back to sewing - yesterday was a bit of a lump on a bump kind of day. I went for coffee with a friend and then picked out two patterns for my next project and then curled up in the wicker chair on my front porch in the sun with Marcy Tilton's Easy Guide To Sewing Skirts to learn more about waistband options and then went to work and then home to bed and this morning, I'm working for four hours and then we'll see.
With all those dress patterns in my stash, it seemed time to actually sew one so I picked Vogue 8743, the longer version, and Burda 7583, the shrug bottom left. I have several fabrics to make a - hopefully wearable - muslin of the shrug with so I'll test that pattern first. The dress takes 5.1 meters of 60" wide or 6.8 meters of 45" wide fabric which is more than I regularly stash so it's doubtful there's anything in there that might work... but... you never know. If not, I'll have to buy something... on sale... when I see it... but... Oh! Darn! LOL!
Talk soon - Myrna
Grateful - life's learning curves, an incredibly helpful private email, the article Assume Positive Intent
Myrna,
ReplyDeleteKnow that you're being hugged from France, even if you can't feel it for real.
Some people thrive on drama and condescension. You don't need that crap. Brush it off and know that the people who matter won't make you feel horrible about yourself.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading "Assume Positive Intent" a few days ago, I was reminded about how vulnerable we all are to comments. As Husband says, I just say things all wrong! And he does! That said, being a medical person I would not even venture to guess cause and treatment in this venue. You know your body and must continue your search to be able to live your best life. The frustrations of health problems affect many people in many ways. Each is unique to that person and their points of reference. Perception is always personal. For example, pain. In my work I use a scale of 1-10 for my patients to describe their level of discomfort with 10 being the highest degree of pain they have ever encountered. Of course, that perception is also influenced by condition and situation. Anyway, what I want to say is, many of us understand the frustrations involved with medical conditions. That is part of who you are, as well as what you sew. Either way, you are always a good read, inspiring and honest. Have a good day.
ReplyDeleteI loved that article on assuming positive intent. It's true most people don't mean to hurt you, their intentions are right even if they are bumbling fools with no social graces.
ReplyDeleteIt is so frustrating to be in the middle of a process where you don't know the right answer, you don't know when it's going to come, you hope every single avenue is the one that will lead to the answer. You do what you can and I personally believe we all have more strength within us to deal with what we face than we think.
It wasn't helpful - in fact that was just plain rude. Sorry...
ReplyDeleteYes, I was harsh. I did have positive intent, however. I was hoping to spark an "I can do it" attitude and get you off the dime. We all have challenges, Myrna, some more than others. However, constantly complaining about them helps no one. We are, each of us, responsible for our own lives, and we create what happens to us. "As ye reap, so shall ye sow." What I pick up constantly in your blog is a negativity, a "what's the use?" attitude, a futility about being able to handle your issues. If you continue to feel that way, that's what you will continue to get in your life. Instead, put positivity out into the Universe, and that's what you'll get back. Trust me--I've been there! Meditation goes a huge way toward solving issues as well--my pain is probably 40% better since I started meditating. Prayer also helps. But it's you who has to take the action, not some godhead outside of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI hope you take what I've said to heart, Myrna. I want you, and everyone, to be happy; however, wallowing in misery is not at all helpful. Get to an immunologist and have some bloods done. Forget the nutritionist, etc.--from my experience, you need to go back to the basics, and you can work with the food as you go along. And antihistamines will help not only with your environmental allergies, but your food allergies, and any other allergies you may have, as well. Remember that conquering such maladies is a process, a journey. I've found that taking SAM-e really helps me tremendously.
There are also support groups for those with multiple-chemical sensitivity and food allergies; they usually meet along with fibromyalgia groups as they are all autoimmune dysfunctions.
Gail D.
I will be interested in hearing about how the dress works for you since I just bought a copy of that pattern too.
ReplyDeleteAs for the comment, let it go and continue to take the high road as you have.
WOW. What a number of responses.
ReplyDeleteI think you handled the situation in you own way and that is very positive. Honestly I do not think I have ever seen you sit on "the pity pot" about any situation. Yes, we are your readers and friends. Yes we are concerned when you have a bump in the road of life. Yes we will comment. Hopefully each comment has one positive thought in it. If you can find only that one comment you will be at the top of your game!
I am astonished at how you handle the learning curves that you encounter in your day to day life. Sometimes I envy you the ability you have to jump right up and start all over again.
Hugs and Kisses.
Karen W. in S.W. Ohio
Funny that the first thing I thought of when I read that comment was the Assume Positive Intent article I'd seen on Already Pretty's blog.
ReplyDeleteSure gives you a different perspective, doesn't it. I surely hope that I haven't given offense in any of my comments as I try to approach from the perspective of let's discuss this....what can be done differently, how can we learn from this.
Sorry the allergies or whatever they are have been such a problem. It's sooooo frustrating when there isn't an easy answer.
I just got back from yet another painful test, hoping this one has the answer. I think it's true that every single time, you hope that THIS is the one that will provide relief.
I think that part of the frustration is the constant pain that you can't seem to get away from. It wears you out. And it takes your focus away where you want it to be.
I really admire how you can stay so focused on the sewing, whereas I, on the other hand, have somewhat given up for today and am going to go sleep on the deck for a while.
Speaking of Already Pretty, did you know that she does online styling (for a fee)? I was thinking of her when you mentioned a week or two ago that you'd like some help styling one of your outfits.
Hope you feel better soon!!!!
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
Wow, talk about an example of "everyone takes a different approach to things" right in front of us! I am glad that the person who commented earlier commented again, as it now seems clear that she intended to be helpful. But if someone had made the first comment to me, I would have been quite hurt and taken aback. You seem not wallowing, but thoughtful, on this blog - and even if you were it's your personal blog and you're allowed to wallow and grieve loss occasionally if you want to! I am definitively not a "if you can't say anything nice" person, but one of the things you do lose with online communication is all the nonverbal and situational cues that help us all assume positive intent.
ReplyDeleteRe the doctor, I have not had issues with allergies but I have had other problems that a doctor refused to take seriously. Sometimes it seems like doctors have a built-in defense mechanism to think that their patients, on a first meeting about a subject, are exaggerating things or are just big complainers. And maybe there are people out there like that, and doctors may have to deal with them all the time and assume negative intent, as it were. In my experience, building a longer-term relationship with a physician, as much as possible these days, will help them know you better and understand that you are not a hypochondriac fearmonger, and that your comments should be taken seriously. It sucks that we all have to go through that whole rigamarole before the doctor takes us seriously, but that seems to be the way it is these days. (And here I was hoping it was better in Canada!)
Best of luck with your health and your sewing, and thanks for being willing to shed some light on these sensitive topics, and be honest and not defensive.
For what it's worth, I don't see a pity party coming from you in your writings. Sure, some things you're going through are frustrating. I can't begin to understand the situation and ongoing journey with your allergies because I don't have any, but I can certainly understand frustration and the sense of loss you must feel. The feeling I get from reading is that you share the thoughts that go through your head about situations and creations, the plans you have for them, and then sometimes the venting for when things don't go as planned. I think we all do that in one way or another. Some more eloquently than others, and I put you high on the list of the eloquent. I think I would be a screaming nutcase unable to form complete sentences, let alone constructive plans. ;-)
ReplyDeleteIn my humble opinion venting about life's challenges is an extremely healthy way to work through them. Too many people bottle things up and who knows when something you share will strike a chord with someone experiencing similar challenges. Sometimes it just helps to know you are not the only one having difficulties. So thank you :-) I will continue to enjoy reading your blog xo
ReplyDeleteTo Myrna - I add my best wishes for your recovery from your problem . I do not think you are whinging about your problems either but rather trying to understand what is happening ( and perhaps hoping someone out here in blogland might have a helpful suggestion ?? )Alot of people find it therapeutic too to just talk about a problem. Also it does seem that you have been trying very hard to tackle this condition. It just seems that some people never learn. Hugs from Australia.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that I've commented before, but I'm a constant reader and I don't get the feeling that you are constantly complaining at all. I agree with you that no one can know from your blog what you are going through or have gone through or where you are. I'm sorry that you are getting a commenter that feels they know your situation better than you and your doctors.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to add a voice to the chorus on this - I enjoy your blog, and look forward to reading it every day. And I wouldn't be coming here if it was a big pity party! :)
ReplyDeleteYou've handled this whole thing (both the medical issues, and the 'help' you've been getting from doctors and from the comments here)with dignity and grace. If you ever WANT advice from any of us, be sure to ask. Until then, I'll just keep on admiring you, and keeping my suggestions to myself!